{"id":2317,"title":"Solution 1 - Consumer Spending in Five Different Countries 2002","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eThe table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePercentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-1-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-2-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 2\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-3-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 3\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-4-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 4\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-5-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 5\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-16T23:00:28.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-academic|IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"46-1-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002","parent_id":null,"visits":1463,"likes":4,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBbmNDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--588108686cb938e874d12392e9e6a80e0bca5d87/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"}
[{"id":2318,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eThe table shows the expenditure for three different categories in five countries: Turkey,Ireland,Sweden,Spain and Italy in 2002.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor the food/drinks/tobacco category, Turkey was the most spending country with the percentage of 32.14%. On the other hand, Sweden was recorded having the lowest consumption with 15.77%.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNext, in the clothing and footwear category, Italy spent with the highest amount of 9.00%, followed by Turkey with 6.63%. Sweden was the least consuming country with 5.40%. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFinally, in the last category which is about leisure and education, Turkey was again the most spending country which had the consumption of 4.35% compared to the total expenditure. Lastly, Spain was cited to have the consumption of 1.98%, therefore was considered as the least spending country in the category.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn summary, Turkish people was mostly spending more in all the categories, especially in the food/drink/tobacco category. The least spending country was Sweden when compared across all the three categories.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-16T23:00:28.000Z","author_name":"kamano","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2317,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBbmdDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--696dce4e1d11bfa8509b7f76cbc03bf0c886db1a/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"},{"id":2319,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eOutline\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Introduction: what is the graph about?\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Describe the detail in the first category.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Describe the detail in the second category.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Describe the detail in the third category.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Summarise what the general trend is.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were partially able to achieve the task by giving the details of expenditure in the 5 countries in 2002.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is very limited with lots of repetition.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParagraphs are unclear, not well organized. You need to improve your skills in using transition words.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou should improve your grammar skills because there were many incorrect words.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePERSONAL ADVICE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Pay more attention to avoid grammatical mistakes such as \"various three categories\" =\u0026gt; \"three various categories\".\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Wrong usage of \"various\" since there are only 3 categories.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Your first sentence doesn't have clear subject/verb distinction.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Wrong punctuation \"It can be clearly seen,that\" =\u0026gt; \"It can be clearly seen that\".\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+It should be homegeneous in the way you use \"%\" and \"percent\". You shouldn't use \"32.14%\" and \"15.77 percent\" as written in your original essay.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+\"Proportion\" refers to the relationship between different things or parts with respect to comparative size, number, or degree. In other words, you must have at least 2 things to compare. Therefore, you can't use it as you wrote in the essay.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+\"expender\" is not a correct word.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+The way you used linking words such as \"in addition\" is not appropriate.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-17T00:58:51.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2317,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBbmtDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--6ad376f12abe70c0531f1a6099c9f9c961e34e90/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"},{"id":2320,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-17T03:57:01.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2317,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBbm9DIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--32d23a1bd1cbbf0f2a3a4814e443458ba04bc90d/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"}]
[{"id":2313,"name":"Solution 1 - Academic Success Factor For High School Students","short_content":"You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: \n\nWhat factors are related to academic success in high school students ...","likes":4,"slug":"45-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-academic-success-factor-highschool","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-opinion|IELTS Writing Opinion|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1901,"name":"My Australia: Episode 10 - Part 1","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":3,"slug":"my-australia-episode-10-part-1","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1902,"name":"My Australia: Episode 10 - Part 2","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":3,"slug":"my-australia-episode-10-part-2","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1903,"name":"My Australia: Episode 10 - Part 3","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":2,"slug":"my-australia-episode-10-part-3","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2309,"name":"Solution 1 - Large Tree Trouble For Your House","short_content":"Large tree grows just near your house, producing troubles for you. Write a letter to local authority explaining this problem, discuss the ways of its r ...","likes":6,"slug":"44-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-1-letter-large-tree-trouble","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-general|IELTS Writing Part 1 General|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false"],"image":null}]
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The table shows the expenditure for three different categories in five countries: Turkey,Ireland,Sweden,Spain and Italy in 2002.
For the food/drinks/tobacco category, Turkey was the most spending country with the percentage of 32.14%. On the other hand, Sweden was recorded having the lowest consumption with 15.77%.
Next, in the clothing and footwear category, Italy spent with the highest amount of 9.00%, followed by Turkey with 6.63%. Sweden was the least consuming country with 5.40%.
Finally, in the last category which is about leisure and education, Turkey was again the most spending country which had the consumption of 4.35% compared to the total expenditure. Lastly, Spain was cited to have the consumption of 1.98%, therefore was considered as the least spending country in the category.
In summary, Turkish people was mostly spending more in all the categories, especially in the food/drink/tobacco category. The least spending country was Sweden when compared across all the three categories.
Bob - 17/01/2012 11:58:51
Outline
+Introduction: what is the graph about?
+Describe the detail in the first category.
+Describe the detail in the second category.
+Describe the detail in the third category.
+Summarise what the general trend is.
Critique
+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were partially able to achieve the task by giving the details of expenditure in the 5 countries in 2002.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is very limited with lots of repetition.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are unclear, not well organized. You need to improve your skills in using transition words.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
You should improve your grammar skills because there were many incorrect words.
PERSONAL ADVICE
+Pay more attention to avoid grammatical mistakes such as "various three categories" => "three various categories".
+Wrong usage of "various" since there are only 3 categories.
+Your first sentence doesn't have clear subject/verb distinction.
+Wrong punctuation "It can be clearly seen,that" => "It can be clearly seen that".
+It should be homegeneous in the way you use "%" and "percent". You shouldn't use "32.14%" and "15.77 percent" as written in your original essay.
+"Proportion" refers to the relationship between different things or parts with respect to comparative size, number, or degree. In other words, you must have at least 2 things to compare. Therefore, you can't use it as you wrote in the essay.
+"expender" is not a correct word.
+The way you used linking words such as "in addition" is not appropriate.
