{"id":2330,"title":"Solution 5 - Consumer Spending in Five Different Countries 2002","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eThe table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePercentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-1-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-2-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 2\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-3-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 3\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-4-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 4\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/46-5-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 5\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2014-05-18T06:02:40.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-academic|IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"46-5-ielts-writing-samples-task-1-consumer-spending-countries-2002","parent_id":null,"visits":500,"likes":8,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBb1FDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--dea7e5cbc9d520f33984bf491d956c6ec720a9fd/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"}
[{"id":2331,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eThe table compares the proportion of three different categories of products and services in five distinctive nations in 2000. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAs can be seen from the table, food/drink/tobacco category made up the highest portion of consumer expense in all of five countries, whereas civilians spent the least money on leisure/education in comparison with the percentage of the two other categories in 2000. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOut of five countries, Turkish spent significantly higher than those of the rest of the table on both food/ drinks/tobacco category and leisure/education activities, at about 32% and over 4% respectively. The figure of expenditure for clothing and footwear category in Italy was noticeable larger than any of the other countries, at exactly 9%. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn contrast, Sweden had the lowest proportions of consumer expenditure for food/drinks/tobacco as well as for clothing/footwear at nearly 16% and around 5% respectively. In addition, Spanish spent considerably less than those of the other nations, at only 1.98%. \u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2014-05-18T06:02:40.000Z","author_name":"anhnguyen","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2330,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBb1VDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--be3b30a48c230530599147596e883f9a2a31b773/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"},{"id":2333,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2014-05-18T10:46:38.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2330,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBb2NDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--c433d3460d4222eb38500cd807115acb6b4d90bf/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"},{"id":2332,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were partially able to achieve the task by giving the details of expenditure in the 5 countries in 2002.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is very limited with lots of errors.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParagraphs are unclear, not well organized. You need to improve your skills in using transition words.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou should improve your grammar skills because there were many incorrect words.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePERSONAL ADVICE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Proportion\" was used incorrectly. For example, the proportion of greenhouse gases is rising. When you say \"the proportion of three different categories of products and services\", it doesn't show these figures are the expenditures of consumers on the categories. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Civilians\" are people who do not belong to the armed forces of their countries. The topic asks you about consumers' spending so when you use \u003cb\u003ecivilians\u003c/b\u003e, it actually refers to a smaller group of a country. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"noticeable larger\" is wrong because they are both adjectives. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eIncorrect usage of transition words \"In addition, Spanish spent considerably....\" For example, Peter is a great singer. In addition, he can dance very well. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFrom the example, you can see that the second phase actually gives extra information about the same subject. In your last paragraph, you use \u003cb\u003ein addition\u003c/b\u003e incorrectly because in the first phase, you were talking about Sweden and food/drinks/tobacco as well as clothing/footwear but in the second phase, you talked about Spanish and their expenditure on leisure and education.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2014-05-18T10:56:46.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2330,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBb1lDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--ae642662d5476e6daf7e695c515feb00e7272a92/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lOTVRFd01IZzJNakVHT2daRlZBPT0iLCJleHAiOm51bGwsInB1ciI6InZhcmlhdGlvbiJ9fQ==--03073c48c81b618581157c4a4bd8e0bb47be452b/ielts-writing-sample-task-1-consumer-spending-different-items-five-countries-2002.jpg"}]
[{"id":3106,"name":"Solution 1 - Should Wealthy Nations Help Poorer Nations","short_content":"Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibili ...","likes":2,"slug":"221-1-ielts-writing-wealthy-nations-required-help-poorer","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-opinion|IELTS Writing Opinion|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1010,"name":"Speaking Partner - sushil narwade","short_content":"Aim:\n\nHello evryone , i am preparing for IELTS exam , I'm here because i want to improve my languages (english and german) so anyone who also wants to ...","likes":3,"slug":"speaking-partner-sushil-narwade","tag_groups":["english-skills-speaking-partner|English Skills - Speaking Partner|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1011,"name":"Speaking Partner - shervin Haghigh Saed","short_content":"Aim:\n\nHi everybody. Currently, I do not feel prepared enough to sit on any IELTS exam. However, I am striving to perfect my English to achieve band sco ...","likes":0,"slug":"speaking-partner-shervin-haghigh-saed","tag_groups":["english-skills-speaking-partner|English Skills - Speaking Partner|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1012,"name":"Speaking Partner - sandino berutu","short_content":"Aim:\n\nPersonal who want to get band score 7\n\nAvailability:\n\n01.00 PM\n\nOnline:\n\nSKYPE: sandino.berutu\n ...","likes":2,"slug":"speaking-partner-sandino-berutu","tag_groups":["english-skills-speaking-partner|English Skills - Speaking Partner|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1013,"name":"Speaking Partner - Magesh K","short_content":"Aim:\n\nI want to improve my English knowledge for a while to improve my speaking skills.for my bright future\n\nAvailability:\n\nafter 11 pm \n\nOnline:\n\nSKYP ...","likes":4,"slug":"speaking-partner-magesh-k","tag_groups":["english-skills-speaking-partner|English Skills - Speaking Partner|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null}]
main-forum
[{"id":70,"slug":"english-skills-listening","name":"English Skills - Listening","post_name":"News For English Skills - Listening"},{"id":72,"slug":"tips-learning-english","name":"Tips For Learning English","post_name":"News For Learning English"},{"id":73,"slug":"english-common-questions","name":"English Common Questions","post_name":"News For English Common Questions"},{"id":75,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-1-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples"},{"id":76,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-2-3-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples"},{"id":77,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples-and-answers","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers"},{"id":68,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-1","name":"IELTS Listening Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 1"},{"id":74,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples"},{"id":78,"slug":"english-skills-speaking-partner","name":"English Skills - Speaking Partner","post_name":"News For English Skills - Speaking Partner"},{"id":81,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-general","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 General","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 General"},{"id":83,"slug":"ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree","name":"IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree"},{"id":84,"slug":"ielts-writing-discuss-and-give-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion"},{"id":85,"slug":"ielts-writing-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Opinion"},{"id":82,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-academic","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic"},{"id":86,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-process","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Process","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Process"},{"id":87,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-map","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Map","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Map"},{"id":88,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-bar-chart","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart"},{"id":89,"slug":"ielts-writing-advantages-disadvantages","name":"IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages"},{"id":90,"slug":"ielts-writing","name":"IELTS Writing","post_name":"IELTS Writing News"},{"id":91,"slug":"ielts-listening","name":"IELTS Listening","post_name":"IELTS Listening News"},{"id":79,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1"},{"id":69,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-2","name":"IELTS Listening Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 2"},{"id":80,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-2","name":"IELTS Writing Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 2"},{"id":92,"slug":"ielts-writing-graphs","name":"IELTS Writing Graphs","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Graphs"},{"id":93,"slug":"ielts-academic-writing","name":"IELTS Academic Writing","post_name":"News For IELTS Academic Writing"}]
The table compares the proportion of three different categories of products and services in five distinctive nations in 2000.
As can be seen from the table, food/drink/tobacco category made up the highest portion of consumer expense in all of five countries, whereas civilians spent the least money on leisure/education in comparison with the percentage of the two other categories in 2000.
Out of five countries, Turkish spent significantly higher than those of the rest of the table on both food/ drinks/tobacco category and leisure/education activities, at about 32% and over 4% respectively. The figure of expenditure for clothing and footwear category in Italy was noticeable larger than any of the other countries, at exactly 9%.
In contrast, Sweden had the lowest proportions of consumer expenditure for food/drinks/tobacco as well as for clothing/footwear at nearly 16% and around 5% respectively. In addition, Spanish spent considerably less than those of the other nations, at only 1.98%.
You were partially able to achieve the task by giving the details of expenditure in the 5 countries in 2002.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is very limited with lots of errors.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are unclear, not well organized. You need to improve your skills in using transition words.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
You should improve your grammar skills because there were many incorrect words.
PERSONAL ADVICE
"Proportion" was used incorrectly. For example, the proportion of greenhouse gases is rising. When you say "the proportion of three different categories of products and services", it doesn't show these figures are the expenditures of consumers on the categories.
"Civilians" are people who do not belong to the armed forces of their countries. The topic asks you about consumers' spending so when you use civilians, it actually refers to a smaller group of a country.
"noticeable larger" is wrong because they are both adjectives.
Incorrect usage of transition words "In addition, Spanish spent considerably...." For example, Peter is a great singer. In addition, he can dance very well.
From the example, you can see that the second phase actually gives extra information about the same subject. In your last paragraph, you use in addition incorrectly because in the first phase, you were talking about Sweden and food/drinks/tobacco as well as clothing/footwear but in the second phase, you talked about Spanish and their expenditure on leisure and education.
