Solution 1 - Advantages And Disadvantages of Increasing Tourism

Author: Bob
Updated Date 09/06/2012 17:41:18
Number of views: 3682

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The costs of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries?

Solution 1

weasel27193 - 09/06/2012 17:41:18

In recent decades, low cost airfare has made international travel easier and many countries have, therefore, developed their tourism industries into key sectors of their economies. While it is clear tourism brings obvious benefits to the countries that host tourists, it is also true to say it may bring disadvantages as well.

Undoubtedly, there are significant benefits that tourism brings to a country. First, a thriving tourist industry implies an increasing need for a variety of services such as hotels, transport, restaurants, and entertainment. This results in a considerable number of jobs being created for people who lack a college education and also the development of the infrastructure needed to accommodate visitors. Moreover, tourism is a "green" industry that, unlike factories, generates a low level of pollution. In fact, because beautiful natural landscapes are often places that tourists come to see, a country will often be sure to maintain the landscape in order to keep it attractive for tourists.

Despite the benefits, there are aspects of tourism that may prove harmful to a country. For instance, a country may suffer from the loss of their traditional culture. This is caused by people in a country changing their lifestyle, customs, and language in order to more effectively serve visitors or because they become influenced by foreign countries. This can cause stress in a traditional society and could even lead to animosity towards tourists. In addition, because tourists often carry expensive objects like cameras and are unaware of their surroundings, they make good targets for theft. Crime also increases as a result of the increases in drugs and prostitution that caters to some vacationers.

In summary, global tourism is greatly beneficial to an economy and environment of a country. However, it can be detrimental in several ways. To my way of thinking, a country should seek to develop its tourism industry because it can bring steady jobs to many people without their need for higher education and without the risk of environmental damages.

Bob - 09/06/2012 18:31:08

Critique

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT

You were able to achieve the task by showing your own opinions on the pros and cons of increasing tourism activity.

+LEXICAL RESOURCE

Vocabulary is well thought and demonstrates your flexibility in using different constructs of English language.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION

Paragraphs are clearly organised.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY

Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:

  • it's not wrong to say "traveling the world" in the introduction but it will sound more academic if it's replaced with "international travel". The same principle applies in the following phrases:

"It cannot be denied that" -> "undoubtedly"

  • Your vocabulary and grammar skills are very good but they can be improved to be more academic, thereby raising your IELTS test results. Please check your edited essay to see the way your sentences are paraphrased.

  • "as a result of that increases": increases is plural, it's wrong to use "that".