{"id":2107,"title":"Solution 1 - Dependence On Computer Good Or Bad","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWe are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhat things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more auspicious of their benefits?\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/9-1-ielts-writing-task-2-dependence-on-computer-good-or-bad\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2011-08-10T13:32:02.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-opinion|IELTS Writing Opinion|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"9-1-ielts-writing-task-2-dependence-on-computer-good-or-bad","parent_id":null,"visits":1965,"likes":0,"image":null}
[]
[]
ielts-writing-part-2
[{"id":2108,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eComputerisation is a new trend which is very controversial. With the advance of computers, our life has become much easier. In the future, it is very likely that the computer can even be used to control flights automatically and many other fascinating things. However, it is also alarming because we are becoming more dependent on them. Therefore, some people believe it would lead to negative effects on the development of human beings. In this paper, I’m going to discuss how the computer can improve our life and why we need not be suspicious of their benefits.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFirstly, the computer has been proven to save many of our labour jobs. The computer assists people in doing repeated activities. For example, speaking of mathematics, it can be leveraged to perform many time-consuming mathematical questions which would take us ten times longer when using manual calculation.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNext, the efficiency of our performances could be increased. The behaviours of the computer are much disciplined. In other words, it follows strictly a set of predefined procedures to carry out a task. Hence, our jobs can be done with more accuracy. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMoreover, it reduces the participation of human in some dangerous jobs such as mining. For example, as mentioned in many newspapers, Japan is gradually replacing human with robots in mining related activities. Hence, the risk of losing human life can be significantly reduced.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFinally, I’m going to prove that we need not be suspicious of the computer’s benefits. This perception seems to stem from the thought that computers can take over the control of human or even replacing human. I admit that the computer is replacing human in some areas but those areas were well considered in advance. For example, instead of letting people to go to rescue in some dangerous areas, they use robots. Therefore, the usage of the computer is actually determined by us even though it is being used to replace human labour.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2011-08-10T13:32:02.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2107,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2110,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2011-08-10T14:21:08.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2107,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2109,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eOutline\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+The computer is one of the best invention ever. In the future, it can be used to control flights. It's good because: \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eit can save many labour jobs\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eour performance can be increased\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eless human intervention in dangerous jobs\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were able to achieve the task by showing your viewpoint about:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e1)what things computers can be used for in the future.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e2)whether the dependence on computers is a good thing or not\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e3)should we be more auspicious of their benefits\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is varied: computerisation, negative effects, disciplined, leveraged, procedures, stem from . \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere are a number of transition words used: however, therefore, firstly, next, moreover, finally.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe organization is clear and logical. There are \u003cb\u003e5 paragraphs\u003c/b\u003e totally which is very good because it ensures you have enough time and still be able to express your ideas.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003echange \"save\" in the 2nd paragraph to \"reduce\"\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003efrom \"the computer has been proven to \u003cb\u003esave\u003c/b\u003e many of our labour jobs\" to \"the computer has been proven to \u003cb\u003ereduce\u003c/b\u003e many of our labour jobs\"\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003echange \"perform\" to \"solve\" in the 2nd paragraph.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003echange \"when using manual calculation\" to \"than doing manually\" in the 2nd paragraph.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n","created_at":"2011-08-10T17:19:21.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2107,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null}]
[{"id":2103,"name":"Solution 1 - Sale Information and Share Prices of Coca-Cola","short_content":"The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the informat ...","likes":9,"slug":"8-1-ielts-writing-task-1-sale-information-and-share-prices-of-coca-cola","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-academic|IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBa0VDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--ecd91314a2cd7e42978188ef10bf94ba93989aa7/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lNTlRBd2VESTRNQVk2QmtWVSIsImV4cCI6bnVsbCwicHVyIjoidmFyaWF0aW9uIn19--ca5be9109540261a74d36dff19d3bd7a6c51a961/IELTS-Writing-Task-1-Sale-Information-and-Share-Prices-of-Coca-Cola.jpg"},{"id":1672,"name":"Common English Mistake: Most and Most of The","short_content":"Common English Mistake: Most and Most of The\n ...","likes":5,"slug":"common-english-mistake-most-and-most","tag_groups":["english-common-questions|English Common Questions|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1674,"name":"Difference Among So , Too And Very","short_content":"What are the differences among \"So\", \"Too\" and \"Very\"? When and where should I use one instead of the others?\n ...","likes":1,"slug":"difference-among-so-too-and-very","tag_groups":["english-common-questions|English Common Questions|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1670,"name":"What Is The Difference Between 'alright' and 'all right'","short_content":"What is the difference between \"alright\" and \"all right\"\n ...","likes":2,"slug":"what-difference-between-alright-and-all-right","tag_groups":["english-common-questions|English Common Questions|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1807,"name":"IELTS Writing Task 2","short_content":"This task is more difficult than IELTS Writing Task 1\n\nYou have to write at least 250 words and, as Task 2 is longer than Task 1, you are advised to sp ...","likes":7,"slug":"ielts-writing-task-2","tag_groups":["tips-learning-english|Tips For Learning English|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null}]
main-forum
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Computerisation is a new trend which is very controversial. With the advance of computers, our life has become much easier. In the future, it is very likely that the computer can even be used to control flights automatically and many other fascinating things. However, it is also alarming because we are becoming more dependent on them. Therefore, some people believe it would lead to negative effects on the development of human beings. In this paper, I’m going to discuss how the computer can improve our life and why we need not be suspicious of their benefits.
Firstly, the computer has been proven to save many of our labour jobs. The computer assists people in doing repeated activities. For example, speaking of mathematics, it can be leveraged to perform many time-consuming mathematical questions which would take us ten times longer when using manual calculation.
Next, the efficiency of our performances could be increased. The behaviours of the computer are much disciplined. In other words, it follows strictly a set of predefined procedures to carry out a task. Hence, our jobs can be done with more accuracy.
Moreover, it reduces the participation of human in some dangerous jobs such as mining. For example, as mentioned in many newspapers, Japan is gradually replacing human with robots in mining related activities. Hence, the risk of losing human life can be significantly reduced.
Finally, I’m going to prove that we need not be suspicious of the computer’s benefits. This perception seems to stem from the thought that computers can take over the control of human or even replacing human. I admit that the computer is replacing human in some areas but those areas were well considered in advance. For example, instead of letting people to go to rescue in some dangerous areas, they use robots. Therefore, the usage of the computer is actually determined by us even though it is being used to replace human labour.
+The computer is one of the best invention ever. In the future, it can be used to control flights. It's good because:
it can save many labour jobs
our performance can be increased
less human intervention in dangerous jobs
Critique
+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing your viewpoint about:
1)what things computers can be used for in the future.
2)whether the dependence on computers is a good thing or not
3)should we be more auspicious of their benefits
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is varied: computerisation, negative effects, disciplined, leveraged, procedures, stem from .
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
There are a number of transition words used: however, therefore, firstly, next, moreover, finally.
The organization is clear and logical. There are 5 paragraphs totally which is very good because it ensures you have enough time and still be able to express your ideas.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
change "save" in the 2nd paragraph to "reduce"
from "the computer has been proven to save many of our labour jobs" to "the computer has been proven to reduce many of our labour jobs"
change "perform" to "solve" in the 2nd paragraph.
change "when using manual calculation" to "than doing manually" in the 2nd paragraph.
