{"id":2540,"title":"Solution 1 - Children Over 15 Years Old","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eChildren Over 15 years should be allowed to take their own Decision without any Interference from Their Parents. Do You Agree or Disagree?\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/81-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-childre-over-15-years\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-25T12:36:00.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"81-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-childre-over-15-years","parent_id":null,"visits":7038,"likes":5,"image":null}
[]
[]
ielts-writing-part-2
[{"id":2541,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eChildren over 15 years of age are considered matured. They can make their own decision by themselves and also know what their responsibilities are. I totally agree with the point that they should be allowed to make their own decision for life without restrictions from their parents. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMost children of age over 15 years will either be in their last year of secondary school or in their first year of High School. If they are allowed to make their own decisions for life at this time of their life, they will be more focused in achieving their targets. On the other hand, if they are not allowed to do or make decisions for themselves they will not be more dedicated towards it. For example, if you are interested in a subject and you want to study it. Your interest towards the subject makes you do research or explore more about it from many different sources. This makes you more knowledgeable about the subject. But if you have no interest in it, then you just do what you are told to do and nothing more. The reason is that you are more dedicated to the work you choose by yourself than to the work chosen by someone else. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHowever, parents should get involved in guiding their children into the right path since children are very likely to make wrong decisions. That is why parents should play the role of guiding them to the right path and also support them to reach their goals and successes. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn conclusion, allowing children to make their own decisions will also help them boast their self-confidence and will also teach them to take responsibilities by themselves. After all you become happy when you get to do what you wished to.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-25T12:36:00.000Z","author_name":"kamlesh","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2540,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2542,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were able to achieve the task by showing whether you agree or disagree with the topic and giving supporting examples.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is quite good but you still need to improve. As I noticed, you make more errors with articles \"a\", \"the\" and plural nouns.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParagraphs are quite organised but do not have clear topic sentences.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompare to the original writing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePERSONAL ADVICE: \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eVery good introduction. Simple and not repeating the requirement. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe second paragraph is not very good because it doesn't have a topic sentence. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"their last year of secondary school level\" -\u0026gt; \"their last year of secondary school\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003ePlural \"make their own decision for life\" -\u0026gt; \"make their own decisions for life\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eWrong \"In the other hand\" -\u0026gt; \"On the other hand\". \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"In the other hand\" is not an idiom. It's simply saying that you are holding something in the \"other\" hand. \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou were totally confused about articles \"a\", \"the\", subject verb agreement and how to use plurals here: \u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"For example, if you are interested in some subject and you want to study it. Your interest towards the subjects make you do research or explore more about it from other outer sources. This makes you more knowledgeable about the subject.\" \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eFragmented \"Because you are more dedicated to the work you choose ...\". Never write a sentence which only includes one phrase starting with \"because\". For example, you can write: \"He passed the exam because he studied very hard this semester\". From that, you can see there are 2 phrases with the second one used to indicate the reason. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Works\" is incorrect because it's uncountable: \"the works chosen by someone else\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou repeated ideas in the 3rd paragraph too many times. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn the conclusion, you introduced new ideas which were not mentioned earlier: \"... will also help them ...\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eit's not a right way to write an academic essay.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-25T14:18:19.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2540,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2543,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-25T14:22:24.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2540,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null}]
[{"id":2517,"name":"Solution 1 - Globalisation And Its Negative Side","short_content":"Even though globalization affects the world's economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Do you agree or disagree?\n\nS ...","likes":2,"slug":"77-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-globalisation-world-economic-negative","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2524,"name":"Solution 1 - Places Getting Similar For Travelling","short_content":"In the past, people used to travel to many places to see difference from their country. Now all the places around the world are getting more and more s ...","likes":1,"slug":"78-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-past-travel-difference-places-similar","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2528,"name":"Solution 1 - Total Value Of Exports From 2000 To 2005","short_content":"The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005.\n\nSummari ...","likes":6,"slug":"79-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-1-graph-total-value-exports","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-academic|IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBcVVDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--7a8554e310fc817458c0ad7c1d599451e43ac845/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lNTlRBd2VESTRNQVk2QmtWVSIsImV4cCI6bnVsbCwicHVyIjoidmFyaWF0aW9uIn19--ca5be9109540261a74d36dff19d3bd7a6c51a961/ielts-writing-task-1-total-value-export-fuel-food.png"},{"id":1928,"name":"My Australia Series 2 - Episode 10","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":1,"slug":"my-australia-series-2-episode-10","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2536,"name":"Solution 1 - Genetically Modified Crops","short_content":"Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these ...","likes":0,"slug":"80-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-biotechnology-genetically-modified-crops-agree-disagree","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null}]
main-forum
[{"id":70,"slug":"english-skills-listening","name":"English Skills - Listening","post_name":"News For English Skills - Listening"},{"id":72,"slug":"tips-learning-english","name":"Tips For Learning English","post_name":"News For Learning English"},{"id":73,"slug":"english-common-questions","name":"English Common Questions","post_name":"News For English Common Questions"},{"id":75,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-1-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples"},{"id":76,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-2-3-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples"},{"id":77,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples-and-answers","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers"},{"id":68,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-1","name":"IELTS Listening Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 1"},{"id":74,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples"},{"id":78,"slug":"english-skills-speaking-partner","name":"English Skills - Speaking Partner","post_name":"News For English Skills - Speaking Partner"},{"id":81,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-general","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 General","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 General"},{"id":83,"slug":"ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree","name":"IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree"},{"id":84,"slug":"ielts-writing-discuss-and-give-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion"},{"id":85,"slug":"ielts-writing-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Opinion"},{"id":82,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-academic","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic"},{"id":86,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-process","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Process","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Process"},{"id":87,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-map","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Map","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Map"},{"id":88,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-bar-chart","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart"},{"id":89,"slug":"ielts-writing-advantages-disadvantages","name":"IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages"},{"id":90,"slug":"ielts-writing","name":"IELTS Writing","post_name":"IELTS Writing News"},{"id":91,"slug":"ielts-listening","name":"IELTS Listening","post_name":"IELTS Listening News"},{"id":79,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1"},{"id":69,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-2","name":"IELTS Listening Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 2"},{"id":80,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-2","name":"IELTS Writing Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 2"},{"id":92,"slug":"ielts-writing-graphs","name":"IELTS Writing Graphs","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Graphs"},{"id":93,"slug":"ielts-academic-writing","name":"IELTS Academic Writing","post_name":"News For IELTS Academic Writing"}]
Children over 15 years of age are considered matured. They can make their own decision by themselves and also know what their responsibilities are. I totally agree with the point that they should be allowed to make their own decision for life without restrictions from their parents.
Most children of age over 15 years will either be in their last year of secondary school or in their first year of High School. If they are allowed to make their own decisions for life at this time of their life, they will be more focused in achieving their targets. On the other hand, if they are not allowed to do or make decisions for themselves they will not be more dedicated towards it. For example, if you are interested in a subject and you want to study it. Your interest towards the subject makes you do research or explore more about it from many different sources. This makes you more knowledgeable about the subject. But if you have no interest in it, then you just do what you are told to do and nothing more. The reason is that you are more dedicated to the work you choose by yourself than to the work chosen by someone else.
However, parents should get involved in guiding their children into the right path since children are very likely to make wrong decisions. That is why parents should play the role of guiding them to the right path and also support them to reach their goals and successes.
In conclusion, allowing children to make their own decisions will also help them boast their self-confidence and will also teach them to take responsibilities by themselves. After all you become happy when you get to do what you wished to.
Bob - 26/04/2012 00:18:19
Critique
+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing whether you agree or disagree with the topic and giving supporting examples.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is quite good but you still need to improve. As I noticed, you make more errors with articles "a", "the" and plural nouns.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are quite organised but do not have clear topic sentences.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
PERSONAL ADVICE:
Very good introduction. Simple and not repeating the requirement.
The second paragraph is not very good because it doesn't have a topic sentence.
"their last year of secondary school level" -> "their last year of secondary school"
Plural "make their own decision for life" -> "make their own decisions for life"
Wrong "In the other hand" -> "On the other hand".
"In the other hand" is not an idiom. It's simply saying that you are holding something in the "other" hand.
You were totally confused about articles "a", "the", subject verb agreement and how to use plurals here:
"For example, if you are interested in some subject and you want to study it. Your interest towards the subjects make you do research or explore more about it from other outer sources. This makes you more knowledgeable about the subject."
Fragmented "Because you are more dedicated to the work you choose ...". Never write a sentence which only includes one phrase starting with "because". For example, you can write: "He passed the exam because he studied very hard this semester". From that, you can see there are 2 phrases with the second one used to indicate the reason.
"Works" is incorrect because it's uncountable: "the works chosen by someone else"
You repeated ideas in the 3rd paragraph too many times.
In the conclusion, you introduced new ideas which were not mentioned earlier: "... will also help them ..."
