{"id":2536,"title":"Solution 1 - Genetically Modified Crops","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eBiotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/80-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-biotechnology-genetically-modified-crops-agree-disagree\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-24T12:38:14.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"80-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-biotechnology-genetically-modified-crops-agree-disagree","parent_id":null,"visits":3309,"likes":0,"image":null}
[]
[]
ielts-writing-part-2
[{"id":2537,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eRecently, it has become an extremely controversial issue around the world that genetically modified crops have many drawbacks whose serious consequences on human health and the environment are not thoroughly understood in spite of its improvement to the increased volume of food. In this paper, I am going to analyse the advantages and disadvantages of genetically modified food. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFirst and foremost, it is, perhaps, the case that genetically modified food is a good way to produce huge amount of food in a short time period and with less money.Equally important, people can cultivate this type of food in areas where it is difficult to grow because of low soil quality and lack of source of water for irrigation. It is certainly true that genetic modification is a good way to produce many types of seeds that have higher resistance to many well-known food diseases. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn spite of these benefits, there are a significantly high number of disadvantages related to genetically modified food. Perhaps one of the most obvious points is that it is causing more diseases to human being. Moreover, the organic food has more nutritive value than genetically modified food like vitamins and minerals.It seems to be clear that the genetically modified food may contribute to the pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn conclusion, it is not doubtful that genetically modified food has both advantages and disadvantages. Some people emphasize the benefits of GM foods, while others are focused more on the negative side. To put it a different way, provided that the government address the magnitude of this massive issue and its underlying the causes, they can make a significant difference.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-24T12:38:14.000Z","author_name":"merkhan","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2536,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2538,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were not able to achieve the task because you didn't say where you stand whether you agree or disagree with the statement \"Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited\" in the requirement.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is quite good but you need to put more effort into improving it. There were many words/phrases you used incorrectly.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParagraphs are quite organised even though you used some contradicting ideas in improper places.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompare to the original writing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePERSONAL ADVICE: \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou are adding too many stop words. Just use simple but effective sentences. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou are contradicting yourself: \"... extremely controversial issue ... that genetically modified food has many benefit and drawback\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow come a controversial issue is about having both benefits and drawbacks? \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou tried to use linking phrases such as \"therefore\" but it was not properly used since it doesn't make sense.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"it has become an extremely controversial issue ... Therefore, for the purposes of this essay, I shall confine\" \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eIncorrect \"in short period\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eincomplete phrase: \"and less money\". In that context, you should use \"and with less money\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"because bad soil quality\" -\u0026gt; \"because of bad soil quality\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eWrong in the meaning \"genetically modified food is a good way to produce many types of seeds\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"disadvantages\" is countable -\u0026gt; Wrong \"a great deal of disadvantages\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e2 errors in this phrase \"it is cause many disease among the people\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ewhich one is the main verb? \"is\" or \"cause\"? \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"many diseases\" \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"What is more\" is for spoken english. It's not suitable for academic writing. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe third paragraph was about the cons of GM food. Why did you put this sentence there \"the organic food has more nutritive value\"? \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou don't have any supporting examples for this statement \"genetically modified food may contribute pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds\". \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"however\" was not used properly here \"In conclusion, however, it is not doubtful that\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-24T16:36:19.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2536,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2539,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-04-24T17:18:14.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2536,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null}]
[{"id":2268,"name":"Solution 2 - Effect of Sport and Cultural Activities on Society","short_content":"You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. \n\nProfessional sports involve large sums of money and receives enormous media coverage. Meanwhile serio ...","likes":2,"slug":"34-2-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-sport-cultural-society","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2517,"name":"Solution 1 - Globalisation And Its Negative Side","short_content":"Even though globalization affects the world's economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Do you agree or disagree?\n\nS ...","likes":2,"slug":"77-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-globalisation-world-economic-negative","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2524,"name":"Solution 1 - Places Getting Similar For Travelling","short_content":"In the past, people used to travel to many places to see difference from their country. Now all the places around the world are getting more and more s ...","likes":1,"slug":"78-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-past-travel-difference-places-similar","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2528,"name":"Solution 1 - Total Value Of Exports From 2000 To 2005","short_content":"The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005.\n\nSummari ...","likes":6,"slug":"79-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-1-graph-total-value-exports","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-academic|IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBcVVDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--7a8554e310fc817458c0ad7c1d599451e43ac845/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lNTlRBd2VESTRNQVk2QmtWVSIsImV4cCI6bnVsbCwicHVyIjoidmFyaWF0aW9uIn19--ca5be9109540261a74d36dff19d3bd7a6c51a961/ielts-writing-task-1-total-value-export-fuel-food.png"},{"id":1928,"name":"My Australia Series 2 - Episode 10","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":1,"slug":"my-australia-series-2-episode-10","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null}]
main-forum
[{"id":70,"slug":"english-skills-listening","name":"English Skills - Listening","post_name":"News For English Skills - Listening"},{"id":72,"slug":"tips-learning-english","name":"Tips For Learning English","post_name":"News For Learning English"},{"id":73,"slug":"english-common-questions","name":"English Common Questions","post_name":"News For English Common Questions"},{"id":75,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-1-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples"},{"id":76,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-2-3-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples"},{"id":77,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples-and-answers","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers"},{"id":68,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-1","name":"IELTS Listening Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 1"},{"id":74,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples"},{"id":78,"slug":"english-skills-speaking-partner","name":"English Skills - Speaking Partner","post_name":"News For English Skills - Speaking Partner"},{"id":81,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-general","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 General","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 General"},{"id":83,"slug":"ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree","name":"IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree"},{"id":84,"slug":"ielts-writing-discuss-and-give-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion"},{"id":85,"slug":"ielts-writing-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Opinion"},{"id":82,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-academic","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic"},{"id":86,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-process","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Process","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Process"},{"id":87,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-map","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Map","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Map"},{"id":88,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-bar-chart","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart"},{"id":89,"slug":"ielts-writing-advantages-disadvantages","name":"IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages"},{"id":90,"slug":"ielts-writing","name":"IELTS Writing","post_name":"IELTS Writing News"},{"id":91,"slug":"ielts-listening","name":"IELTS Listening","post_name":"IELTS Listening News"},{"id":79,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1"},{"id":69,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-2","name":"IELTS Listening Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 2"},{"id":80,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-2","name":"IELTS Writing Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 2"},{"id":92,"slug":"ielts-writing-graphs","name":"IELTS Writing Graphs","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Graphs"},{"id":93,"slug":"ielts-academic-writing","name":"IELTS Academic Writing","post_name":"News For IELTS Academic Writing"}]
Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, it has become an extremely controversial issue around the world that genetically modified crops have many drawbacks whose serious consequences on human health and the environment are not thoroughly understood in spite of its improvement to the increased volume of food. In this paper, I am going to analyse the advantages and disadvantages of genetically modified food.
First and foremost, it is, perhaps, the case that genetically modified food is a good way to produce huge amount of food in a short time period and with less money.Equally important, people can cultivate this type of food in areas where it is difficult to grow because of low soil quality and lack of source of water for irrigation. It is certainly true that genetic modification is a good way to produce many types of seeds that have higher resistance to many well-known food diseases.
In spite of these benefits, there are a significantly high number of disadvantages related to genetically modified food. Perhaps one of the most obvious points is that it is causing more diseases to human being. Moreover, the organic food has more nutritive value than genetically modified food like vitamins and minerals.It seems to be clear that the genetically modified food may contribute to the pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds.
In conclusion, it is not doubtful that genetically modified food has both advantages and disadvantages. Some people emphasize the benefits of GM foods, while others are focused more on the negative side. To put it a different way, provided that the government address the magnitude of this massive issue and its underlying the causes, they can make a significant difference.
Bob - 25/04/2012 02:36:19
Critique
+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were not able to achieve the task because you didn't say where you stand whether you agree or disagree with the statement "Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited" in the requirement.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is quite good but you need to put more effort into improving it. There were many words/phrases you used incorrectly.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are quite organised even though you used some contradicting ideas in improper places.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
PERSONAL ADVICE:
You are adding too many stop words. Just use simple but effective sentences.
You are contradicting yourself: "... extremely controversial issue ... that genetically modified food has many benefit and drawback"
How come a controversial issue is about having both benefits and drawbacks?
You tried to use linking phrases such as "therefore" but it was not properly used since it doesn't make sense.
"it has become an extremely controversial issue ... Therefore, for the purposes of this essay, I shall confine"
Incorrect "in short period"
incomplete phrase: "and less money". In that context, you should use "and with less money"
"because bad soil quality" -> "because of bad soil quality"
Wrong in the meaning "genetically modified food is a good way to produce many types of seeds"
"disadvantages" is countable -> Wrong "a great deal of disadvantages"
2 errors in this phrase "it is cause many disease among the people"
which one is the main verb? "is" or "cause"?
"many diseases"
"What is more" is for spoken english. It's not suitable for academic writing.
The third paragraph was about the cons of GM food. Why did you put this sentence there "the organic food has more nutritive value"?
You don't have any supporting examples for this statement "genetically modified food may contribute pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds".
"however" was not used properly here "In conclusion, however, it is not doubtful that"
