{"id":2692,"title":"Solution 1 - Applying For A Job","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eYou want to apply for the following job. Write a letter to Mr. Moore describing your previous experience and explaining why you would be suitable for the job. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWaiter/waitress required for evening work. Some experience necessary. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• You should write at least 150 words. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/112-1-ielts-letter-you-want-apply-job-write-previous-experience\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-06-30T02:26:19.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-general|IELTS Writing Part 1 General|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"112-1-ielts-letter-you-want-apply-job-write-previous-experience","parent_id":null,"visits":798,"likes":3,"image":null}
[]
[]
ielts-writing-part-1
[{"id":2693,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eDear Sir, \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eI am writing to express my interest towards the advertisement in seek.com for waitress required for your restaurant. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eI am keen to join this as I have given five years of dedicated work in this field. I had a great experience as a waitress. Moreover, I have done three years diploma in hospitality. Apart from this, I have done a six month course in RSL. As a result, I know how to work in a bar as well. Beside my qualifications, I am a very hard working, Passionate, trustworthy and flexible girl. Before I was working at a restaurant near Harbour Bridge, which you may know is very famous as the busiest restaurant of the city; now this restaurant is shifting to another place, which will be quite far for me. Thus, I decide to move onto a new job. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eI have already attached my resume along with this mail. I hope my credentials meet this job and really wants to discuss it further. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLooking forward to a positive response from your side. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThanks in advance. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYours faithfully,\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-06-30T02:26:19.000Z","author_name":"kailash","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2692,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2694,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were fully able to achieve the task by showing your previous work experience as well as why you are the perfect match for the job.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is good.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParagraphs are organised.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompare to the original writing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePERSONAL ADVICE: \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWrong tense \"I have give five years\" \u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePresent Perfect: I have given \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo need for a comma here: \"I am keen to join this, as I have give five years\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eCountable nouns: \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"I have done six month course\" -\u0026gt; \"I have done a six-month course\" \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNext, \"six month\" -\u0026gt; \"six-month\" because it's now an adjective. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"I was working at Harbour restaurant\" \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"I am very hard working, Passionate, trustworthy and flexible girl\"\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eLack of transitional words: \"I am keen ... I had ... I have done ...\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eNever start a sentence with \"So\" in \"So I know how to work in a bar as well\". You should use \"Therefore.\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eInformal \"flexible gal\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003ePreposition \"Looking forward a positive response from your side\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-06-30T03:09:38.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2692,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2695,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-06-30T04:03:21.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2692,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null}]
[{"id":2678,"name":"Solution 1 - Spending Time With Friends Or Being Alone","short_content":"Some people prefer to spend their time with friends while other people prefer to be alone. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons and su ...","likes":6,"slug":"109-1-ielts-writing-people-prefer-spend-their-time-friends-alone","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-opinion|IELTS Writing Opinion|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2681,"name":"Solution 1 - Increasing Crime And What Governments Can Do","short_content":"In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels? Give reasons for your answer ...","likes":1,"slug":"110-1-ielts-writing-many-cities-crime-increasing-why-you-think-happening","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-opinion|IELTS Writing Opinion|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2688,"name":"Solution 1 - Children Playing Less With One Another","short_content":"Nowadays, children play less with one another and this has an impact on their development. What are the reasons for this? Does it have a good or a bad ...","likes":1,"slug":"111-1-ielts-writing-children-play-less-one-another-impact","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-opinion|IELTS Writing Opinion|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1942,"name":"Study English - Series 1, Episode 13: Under the sea","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":2,"slug":"study-english-series-1-episode-13-under-sea","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1943,"name":"Study English - Series 1, Episode 14: Junk DNA","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":3,"slug":"study-english-series-1-episode-14-junk-dna","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null}]
main-forum
[{"id":70,"slug":"english-skills-listening","name":"English Skills - Listening","post_name":"News For English Skills - Listening"},{"id":72,"slug":"tips-learning-english","name":"Tips For Learning English","post_name":"News For Learning English"},{"id":73,"slug":"english-common-questions","name":"English Common Questions","post_name":"News For English Common Questions"},{"id":75,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-1-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples"},{"id":76,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-2-3-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples"},{"id":77,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples-and-answers","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers"},{"id":68,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-1","name":"IELTS Listening Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 1"},{"id":74,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples"},{"id":78,"slug":"english-skills-speaking-partner","name":"English Skills - Speaking Partner","post_name":"News For English Skills - Speaking Partner"},{"id":81,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-general","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 General","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 General"},{"id":83,"slug":"ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree","name":"IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree"},{"id":84,"slug":"ielts-writing-discuss-and-give-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion"},{"id":85,"slug":"ielts-writing-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Opinion"},{"id":82,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-academic","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic"},{"id":86,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-process","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Process","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Process"},{"id":87,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-map","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Map","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Map"},{"id":88,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-bar-chart","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart"},{"id":89,"slug":"ielts-writing-advantages-disadvantages","name":"IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages"},{"id":90,"slug":"ielts-writing","name":"IELTS Writing","post_name":"IELTS Writing News"},{"id":91,"slug":"ielts-listening","name":"IELTS Listening","post_name":"IELTS Listening News"},{"id":79,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1"},{"id":69,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-2","name":"IELTS Listening Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 2"},{"id":80,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-2","name":"IELTS Writing Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 2"},{"id":92,"slug":"ielts-writing-graphs","name":"IELTS Writing Graphs","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Graphs"},{"id":93,"slug":"ielts-academic-writing","name":"IELTS Academic Writing","post_name":"News For IELTS Academic Writing"}]
You want to apply for the following job. Write a letter to Mr. Moore describing your previous experience and explaining why you would be suitable for the job.
Waiter/waitress required for evening work. Some experience necessary.
I am writing to express my interest towards the advertisement in seek.com for waitress required for your restaurant.
I am keen to join this as I have given five years of dedicated work in this field. I had a great experience as a waitress. Moreover, I have done three years diploma in hospitality. Apart from this, I have done a six month course in RSL. As a result, I know how to work in a bar as well. Beside my qualifications, I am a very hard working, Passionate, trustworthy and flexible girl. Before I was working at a restaurant near Harbour Bridge, which you may know is very famous as the busiest restaurant of the city; now this restaurant is shifting to another place, which will be quite far for me. Thus, I decide to move onto a new job.
I have already attached my resume along with this mail. I hope my credentials meet this job and really wants to discuss it further.
Looking forward to a positive response from your side.
Thanks in advance.
Yours faithfully,
Bob - 30/06/2012 13:09:38
Critique
+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were fully able to achieve the task by showing your previous work experience as well as why you are the perfect match for the job.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is good.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are organised.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
PERSONAL ADVICE:
Wrong tense "I have give five years"
Present Perfect: I have given
No need for a comma here: "I am keen to join this, as I have give five years"
Countable nouns:
"I have done six month course" -> "I have done a six-month course"
Next, "six month" -> "six-month" because it's now an adjective.
"I was working at Harbour restaurant"
"I am very hard working, Passionate, trustworthy and flexible girl"
Lack of transitional words: "I am keen ... I had ... I have done ..."
Never start a sentence with "So" in "So I know how to work in a bar as well". You should use "Therefore."
Informal "flexible gal"
Preposition "Looking forward a positive response from your side"
