Solution 1 - Close Relatives and Education
{"id":2602,"title":"Solution 1 - School and Parenting","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eSome people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/96-1-ielts-writing-task-2-people-think-good-idea-school-young-parent\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/96-2-ielts-writing-task-2-people-think-good-idea-school-young-parent\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 2\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-05-20T23:57:15.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"96-1-ielts-writing-task-2-people-think-good-idea-school-young-parent","parent_id":null,"visits":2028,"likes":4,"image":null}
[]
[]
ielts-writing-part-2
[{"id":2603,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eThe increasing number of marriage in the coming years contributes to the fact that the age of parents tends to be younger and younger. The issue how to feed and teach their children in the correct direction has been shown up in front of these low-aged parents. Setting up a specified course in school for young person to acknowledge the essential skills seems to be reasonable. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAs to the skills of being a superior parent, responsibility is one of the crucial expertise in this area. The majority of the parents, especially who became parent at the early age, tend to rarely afford this burden and lack of patience to keep on educate their children. Recent research reported by East Daily, illustrates that approximately 35 percent of the young parents fail to watch their babies which is taken care of by their grandparent instead. This figure is also booming right now. Develop responsibility when they feed and educate their own boys or girls is supposed to be an evitable course for the special education institute. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMeanwhile, a well-qualified parent is capable of keeping the balance of award and punishment. It’s vital for parents to acquire this when handling their child’s trouble case. Provided that schools can supply the appropriate measures and approaches for young person in this situation, this can simply avoid the confusion and negative effect on his child. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo sum up, the qualification of being a good parent is involved in strong responsibilities for family, properly encouraging their children and criticizing the incorrect behavior when they are growing up. There is no doubt that schools should establish the lesson for every young person to acquire how to cultivate their next generation.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-05-20T23:57:15.000Z","author_name":"bobby3239","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2602,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2605,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-05-21T02:49:12.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2602,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2604,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were able to achieve the task by showing whether you agree or disagree with the topic and describing the skills to be a good parent.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is quite good but you still need to improve.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParagraphs are well organised with clear topic sentences.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompare to the original writing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePERSONAL ADVICE: \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003ePlural: \"The increasing number of marriage\" -\u0026gt; \"The increasing number of marriages\". \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou were focusing too much on the wording and forgetting the real meaning here \"The increasing number of marriages in the coming years contributes to the fact\". Check out how I fixed that for you. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"expertise\" was wrongly used. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eGerund: \"keep on educate their children\" -\u0026gt; \"keep on educating their children\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou seem to have serious issues with punctuation: \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"Recent research reported by East Daily, illustrates that\". \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI said this because there have been many students making similar mistakes like this. \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Develop responsibility ... is supposed to be an evitable course\": Wrong. Tell me which one is the main verb in that sentence. \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eI guessed you didn't want to say \"an evitable course\" but instead \"an inevitable course\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"for the special education institute\": which special education institute? \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eMany mistakes here \"the balance of award and punishment\": \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"the balance between ... and ... \" \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/questions/reward-and-award/60\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eReward And Award\u003c/a\u003e are different. Check out \u003ca href=\"/questions/reward-and-award/60\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eReward And Award\u003c/a\u003e. \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eWrong \"child’s trouble case\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"for every young person to acquire how to cultivate their next generation\" \u003c/p\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eyou were using \"every young person\" which is single \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eyou then used \"their\" -\u0026gt; incorrect. \u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI prefer to use the word \"skills\" here: \"the qualification of being a good parent\" because the writing task asks you what the skills a person needs to be a good parent are, not about qualifications. \u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-05-21T03:42:27.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2602,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null}]
[{"id":2599,"name":"Solution 1 - Close Relatives and Education","short_content":"Should close relatives be involved in the education of children? Give your opinion.\n\nSolution 1\n ...","likes":3,"slug":"95-1-ielts-writing-task-2-close-relatives-involved-education","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-opinion|IELTS Writing Opinion|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1782,"name":"In The Other Hand Or On The Other Hand","short_content":"Which one is correct? In the other hand or On the other hand? How are they used?\n ...","likes":1,"slug":"other-hand-or-other-hand","tag_groups":["english-common-questions|English Common Questions|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":855,"name":"Speaking Partner - Elijah Kerlingov","short_content":"Aim:\n\nHi,\n\nMy name is Chris. I am 21 years old and I am from Latvia.\n\nMy native language is Russian.\n\nI have been studying English since primary school ...","likes":3,"slug":"speaking-partner-elijah-kerlingov","tag_groups":["english-skills-speaking-partner|English Skills - Speaking Partner|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2485,"name":"Solution 2 - Proportion of Population Aged 65 And Over","short_content":"The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information b ...","likes":3,"slug":"72-2-ielts-writing-sample-task-1-proportion-population-65-1940-2040","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-1|IELTS Writing Part 1|false","ielts-writing-part-1-academic|IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":"/rails/active_storage/representations/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBcGdDIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--24a2010852faaf7301409396f9423b4f86e89732/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaDdCam9MY21WemFYcGxTU0lNTlRBd2VESTRNQVk2QmtWVSIsImV4cCI6bnVsbCwicHVyIjoidmFyaWF0aW9uIn19--ca5be9109540261a74d36dff19d3bd7a6c51a961/ielts-writing-task-1-proportion-population-aged-65.gif"},{"id":1931,"name":"Study English - Series 1, Episode 2: Vitamin D","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":3,"slug":"study-english-series-1-episode-2-vitamin-d","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null}]
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Author: Bob
Updated Date 21/05/2012 09:57:15
Number of views: 2028
Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent.
Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.
The increasing number of marriage in the coming years contributes to the fact that the age of parents tends to be younger and younger. The issue how to feed and teach their children in the correct direction has been shown up in front of these low-aged parents. Setting up a specified course in school for young person to acknowledge the essential skills seems to be reasonable.
As to the skills of being a superior parent, responsibility is one of the crucial expertise in this area. The majority of the parents, especially who became parent at the early age, tend to rarely afford this burden and lack of patience to keep on educate their children. Recent research reported by East Daily, illustrates that approximately 35 percent of the young parents fail to watch their babies which is taken care of by their grandparent instead. This figure is also booming right now. Develop responsibility when they feed and educate their own boys or girls is supposed to be an evitable course for the special education institute.
Meanwhile, a well-qualified parent is capable of keeping the balance of award and punishment. It’s vital for parents to acquire this when handling their child’s trouble case. Provided that schools can supply the appropriate measures and approaches for young person in this situation, this can simply avoid the confusion and negative effect on his child.
To sum up, the qualification of being a good parent is involved in strong responsibilities for family, properly encouraging their children and criticizing the incorrect behavior when they are growing up. There is no doubt that schools should establish the lesson for every young person to acquire how to cultivate their next generation.
Critique
+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing whether you agree or disagree with the topic and describing the skills to be a good parent.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is quite good but you still need to improve.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are well organised with clear topic sentences.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
PERSONAL ADVICE:
Plural: "The increasing number of marriage" -> "The increasing number of marriages".
You were focusing too much on the wording and forgetting the real meaning here "The increasing number of marriages in the coming years contributes to the fact". Check out how I fixed that for you.
"expertise" was wrongly used.
Gerund: "keep on educate their children" -> "keep on educating their children"
You seem to have serious issues with punctuation:
"Recent research reported by East Daily, illustrates that".
I said this because there have been many students making similar mistakes like this.
"Develop responsibility ... is supposed to be an evitable course": Wrong. Tell me which one is the main verb in that sentence.
I guessed you didn't want to say "an evitable course" but instead "an inevitable course"
"for the special education institute": which special education institute?
Many mistakes here "the balance of award and punishment":
"the balance between ... and ... "
Reward And Award are different. Check out Reward And Award.
Wrong "child’s trouble case"
"for every young person to acquire how to cultivate their next generation"
you were using "every young person" which is single
you then used "their" -> incorrect.