{"id":2342,"title":"Solution 1 - People Character - Genetics Or Environment","advertisement_flag":false,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003ePeople’s character is influenced by environment rather than genetics. Do you agree or disagree?\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/49-1-ielts-writing-task-2-people-character-environment-genetics\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 1\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/49-2-ielts-writing-task-2-people-character-environment-genetics\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eSolution 2\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-23T05:53:37.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree|IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"author_id":1,"slug":"49-1-ielts-writing-task-2-people-character-environment-genetics","parent_id":null,"visits":3910,"likes":7,"image":null}
[]
[]
ielts-writing-part-2
[{"id":2343,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eNumerous scientists claim that both genes and the environment play a significant role in shaping one's character. Research conducted by leading scientific institutions has shown that while some character traits are inherited, most are acquired through experience during lifetime.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLet us consider cases which clearly demonstrate strong links between the environment and a person's character.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEveryone has their own unique DNA, except for identical twins, who share the same DNA. Many studies have been done involving hundreds pairs of identical twins who were raised apart, in very different environments. These observations showed that twins really do share some traits such as a preference for the same colors or smells, books and films. However, their essential characters are quite differ from each other. As explained by most psychologists, it was a result of the influence from their environments. For example, one of the twins was brought up in the countryside, and the other was in the city. The rural twin is unflappable, taciturn, withdrawn, and hard working. The urban twin is quite the opposite. He may be described as talkative, open and temperamental. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThat's why there is no doubt that the influence of the environment and nurture is more obvious and convincing than genes. For example, parents try to rent or buy homes in wholesome areas far from crime-ridden ones in the hope that their children will not be amid bad influences. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBy and large, people are profoundly influenced by their parents, co-workers, friends, teachers, peers as well as media. These are important factors of life that have a great influence on one's nature. Moreover, they may be responsible for forming the characters of those who communicate with them in everyday life. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAll these arguments lead to the conclusion that the environment contributes more to shaping an individual's nature than genes. Indeed, the influence of nurture on one's past is so overwhelming and powerful. That is why criminologists state that criminals are often the result of bad parenting or bad nurturing.\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-23T05:53:37.000Z","author_name":"milaniyamiila","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2342,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2344,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eCritique\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+TASK ACHIEVEMENT\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou were able to achieve the task by showing your opinion as to whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the essay's requirement.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+LEXICAL RESOURCE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVocabulary is very good: wholesome, by and large, unflappable, taciturn, withdrawn, criminologists.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+COHERENCE AND COHESION\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParagraphs are not strongly distintive. Good use of transition words: however, by and large, indeed.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompare to the original writing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePERSONAL ADVICE\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Your essay is well beyond 250 words (339 words) which is not really good because you have to consider spending time on the first task.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Your essay was well written. However, each paragraph doesn't have its own idea. \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor example, let's consider the second paragraph. It has shown that even though genes really affect one's character, the environment plays a more important role in his essential nature.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe 3rd paragraph simply continues the idea of the previous one by confirming the strong influence of the environment and nurture.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTherefore, it's not really reasonable to split them into 2 different paragraphs.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Which one are you refering to in \"Let us consider cases which clearly demonstrate the strong link\"? You should change to \"strong links\".\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Missing \"that\" in \"These are important factors of life have a profound\".\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+In the 4th paragraph, you shouldn't use \"profound\" repeatedly.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Punctuation: \u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"scientific institutions has shown that, while some character traits\"\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"That's why, there is no doubt\"\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+Wrong \"is quite differ from\". You should say \"is quite different from\" or \"differs from\"\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+\"do really share\" is not really what you meant. It should be \"really do share\"\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+The way you used \"At the same time\" in your essay was not really appropriate.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+\"most psychologists explained it \u003cb\u003eby\u003c/b\u003e\" is not suitable.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+\"and\" is usually used to connect 2 similar ideas. Therefore, \"their essential characters ... and most psychologists explained it ...\" should be re-considered.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e+You are very good at using idioms. However, in academic writing, you should avoid such phrases as \" and a little bit of a couch potato\".\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-23T06:44:48.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2342,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null},{"id":2345,"title":null,"advertisement_flag":false,"author_id":1,"content":"\n\u003cp\u003eWriting Tips:\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-can-i-improve-my-writing-skills\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow To Improve Writing Skills\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/what-required-ielts-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWhat Is Required In IELTS Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/tips-ielts-vocabulary-writing\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eTips On IELTS Vocabulary For Writing\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/d/how-your-ielts-essays-are-graded\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eHow Your IELTS Essays Are Graded\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n","created_at":"2012-01-23T07:53:13.000Z","author_name":"Bob","tag_groups":[],"slug":null,"parent_id":2342,"visits":0,"likes":-1,"image":null}]
[{"id":1904,"name":"My Australia: Episode 11 - Part 1","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":1,"slug":"my-australia-episode-11-part-1","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1905,"name":"My Australia: Episode 11 - Part 2","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":3,"slug":"my-australia-episode-11-part-2","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":1906,"name":"My Australia: Episode 11 - Part 3","short_content":"Source: Youtube\n\nThis is only the audio file. We are implementing transcripts and questions\n\nfor this section which will help you examine your understa ...","likes":5,"slug":"my-australia-episode-11-part-3","tag_groups":["ielts-listening-part-2|IELTS Listening Part 2|false","english-skills-listening|English Skills - Listening|false","ielts-listening|IELTS Listening|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2334,"name":"Solution 1 - Migration To Cities And The Solution","short_content":"The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today. Discuss the main causes. What solutions could be used ...","likes":6,"slug":"47-1-ielts-writing-samples-task-2-migration-people-cities-problems","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null},{"id":2338,"name":"Solution 1 - Working for A Large Or Small company","short_content":"Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which would you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to ...","likes":2,"slug":"48-1-ielts-writing-sample-task-2-people-prefer-large-small-company","tag_groups":["ielts-writing-part-2|IELTS Writing Part 2|false","ielts-writing|IELTS Writing|false","ielts-academic-writing|IELTS Academic Writing|false"],"image":null}]
main-forum
[{"id":70,"slug":"english-skills-listening","name":"English Skills - Listening","post_name":"News For English Skills - Listening"},{"id":72,"slug":"tips-learning-english","name":"Tips For Learning English","post_name":"News For Learning English"},{"id":73,"slug":"english-common-questions","name":"English Common Questions","post_name":"News For English Common Questions"},{"id":75,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-1-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 1 Samples"},{"id":76,"slug":"ielts-speaking-part-2-3-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Part 2 \u0026 3 Samples"},{"id":77,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples-and-answers","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples And Answers"},{"id":68,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-1","name":"IELTS Listening Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 1"},{"id":74,"slug":"ielts-speaking-samples","name":"IELTS Speaking Samples","post_name":"News For IELTS Speaking Samples"},{"id":78,"slug":"english-skills-speaking-partner","name":"English Skills - Speaking Partner","post_name":"News For English Skills - Speaking Partner"},{"id":81,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-general","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 General","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 General"},{"id":83,"slug":"ielts-writing-agree-or-disagree","name":"IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Agree Or Disagree"},{"id":84,"slug":"ielts-writing-discuss-and-give-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Discuss And Give Opinion"},{"id":85,"slug":"ielts-writing-opinion","name":"IELTS Writing Opinion","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Opinion"},{"id":82,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1-academic","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1 Academic"},{"id":86,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-process","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Process","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Process"},{"id":87,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-map","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Map","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Map"},{"id":88,"slug":"ielts-writing-diagram-bar-chart","name":"IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Diagram Bar Chart"},{"id":89,"slug":"ielts-writing-advantages-disadvantages","name":"IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Advantages Disadvantages"},{"id":90,"slug":"ielts-writing","name":"IELTS Writing","post_name":"IELTS Writing News"},{"id":91,"slug":"ielts-listening","name":"IELTS Listening","post_name":"IELTS Listening News"},{"id":79,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-1","name":"IELTS Writing Part 1","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 1"},{"id":69,"slug":"ielts-listening-part-2","name":"IELTS Listening Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Listening Part 2"},{"id":80,"slug":"ielts-writing-part-2","name":"IELTS Writing Part 2","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Part 2"},{"id":92,"slug":"ielts-writing-graphs","name":"IELTS Writing Graphs","post_name":"News For IELTS Writing Graphs"},{"id":93,"slug":"ielts-academic-writing","name":"IELTS Academic Writing","post_name":"News For IELTS Academic Writing"}]
Numerous scientists claim that both genes and the environment play a significant role in shaping one's character. Research conducted by leading scientific institutions has shown that while some character traits are inherited, most are acquired through experience during lifetime.
Let us consider cases which clearly demonstrate strong links between the environment and a person's character.
Everyone has their own unique DNA, except for identical twins, who share the same DNA. Many studies have been done involving hundreds pairs of identical twins who were raised apart, in very different environments. These observations showed that twins really do share some traits such as a preference for the same colors or smells, books and films. However, their essential characters are quite differ from each other. As explained by most psychologists, it was a result of the influence from their environments. For example, one of the twins was brought up in the countryside, and the other was in the city. The rural twin is unflappable, taciturn, withdrawn, and hard working. The urban twin is quite the opposite. He may be described as talkative, open and temperamental.
That's why there is no doubt that the influence of the environment and nurture is more obvious and convincing than genes. For example, parents try to rent or buy homes in wholesome areas far from crime-ridden ones in the hope that their children will not be amid bad influences.
By and large, people are profoundly influenced by their parents, co-workers, friends, teachers, peers as well as media. These are important factors of life that have a great influence on one's nature. Moreover, they may be responsible for forming the characters of those who communicate with them in everyday life.
All these arguments lead to the conclusion that the environment contributes more to shaping an individual's nature than genes. Indeed, the influence of nurture on one's past is so overwhelming and powerful. That is why criminologists state that criminals are often the result of bad parenting or bad nurturing.
Bob - 23/01/2012 17:44:48
Critique
+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing your opinion as to whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the essay's requirement.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is very good: wholesome, by and large, unflappable, taciturn, withdrawn, criminologists.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are not strongly distintive. Good use of transition words: however, by and large, indeed.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
PERSONAL ADVICE
+Your essay is well beyond 250 words (339 words) which is not really good because you have to consider spending time on the first task.
+Your essay was well written. However, each paragraph doesn't have its own idea.
For example, let's consider the second paragraph. It has shown that even though genes really affect one's character, the environment plays a more important role in his essential nature.
The 3rd paragraph simply continues the idea of the previous one by confirming the strong influence of the environment and nurture.
Therefore, it's not really reasonable to split them into 2 different paragraphs.
+Which one are you refering to in "Let us consider cases which clearly demonstrate the strong link"? You should change to "strong links".
+Missing "that" in "These are important factors of life have a profound".
+In the 4th paragraph, you shouldn't use "profound" repeatedly.
+Punctuation:
"scientific institutions has shown that, while some character traits"
"That's why, there is no doubt"
+Wrong "is quite differ from". You should say "is quite different from" or "differs from"
+"do really share" is not really what you meant. It should be "really do share"
+The way you used "At the same time" in your essay was not really appropriate.
+"most psychologists explained it by" is not suitable.
+"and" is usually used to connect 2 similar ideas. Therefore, "their essential characters ... and most psychologists explained it ..." should be re-considered.
+You are very good at using idioms. However, in academic writing, you should avoid such phrases as " and a little bit of a couch potato".
