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1)Children Born With Talents
2)Happiness In Life
3)Internet In Formal Education
4)Advantages And Disadvantages of Increasing Tourism
5)Increasing Crime And What Governments Can Do

IELTS Writing Sample

Prevention Is Better Than Cure

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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample

Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

How many words? How long?

One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)

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As reported, there have been a few recommendations from health experts to Governments on allocating budgets to educate the public to live a healthy lifestyle which can prevent people from falling ill. I totally agree with them, as it is a cost-effective way to handle public health problem confronted by most of the governments in the world.

One of the most important functions of governments is to maintain the public health at a relatively high level. However, the traditional pattern adopted by governments is spending a large amount of money on providing treatment, which leads to a vicious circle: the more money they invested, the worse situation it turned to be. Let's consider smoking controll programs in China. According to statistics, there are about 1.2 million of people died of lung cancer because of smoking or second-handed smoking. Merely in 2000, the cost of smoking in China has reached nearly 5 billion RMB varied from treatment expenditure and the production losses. In fact, if the government had switched its policy by providing more education programs about living a healthy life style, asking the cigarette manufactures to tag warning marks on the packaging of cigarette, forbidding smoking in public, penalizing the retailers who sell cigarette to the people under 18. Doing that, the amount of patients suffered from lung cancer would reduce significantly.

Moreover, funding on disease prevention projects and educating the public with healthy life style would contribute to the social stability. Suffering from disease is not only money-consuming but also miserable and painful. It isn’t unusual to see people commit crimes because of money shortage which stems from highly cost of disease treatments. If Governments take action before bad situation happens, for example, raising residents’ health awareness and proving an unpolluted environment, it will prevent many people from suffering disease so as to curb the proliferation of crime.

This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree  
Critique
This critique is meant for the writing from pipi2082. This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction to understand this critique!

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were not fully able to achieve the task because you didn't say your stance whether you agree or disagree with the topic.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is average and you need to put more effort into improving it. There were many words/phrases you used incorrectly.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are quite organised even though you used some irrelevant examples in the third paragraph.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:
+ "healthy experts" and "health experts" are completely different.
> "healthy experts" refers to professionals in any occupation who are physically healthy.
+ "It is reported that ... wrote ... that"
> it sounds very redundant.
> Next, your introduction is quite vage since it doesn't clearly show your stance whether you agree or disagree with the topic. You only showed you agreed with the health experts.
+ Plural: "handle public health problem" -> "handle public health problems"
+ Incomplete "the more money been put in" (where is the verb? which tense is it?)
+ Incomplete sentence "Take smoking controlling in China for example"
> Right: Let's take smoking controll programs in China as an example (not for example)
+ "According to the report, there are about 1.2 million of people died of lung cancer ..."
> "the report"??? which report?
+ Propaganda is used for political issues.
+ You could lose marks for this: "It isn’t unusual" -> "It is not unusual"
+ "the packing of cigarette" is wrong. Examples of correct usage include:
> "the packaging of cigarette"
> "Cigarette pack"
+ "treatment" is countable -> "treatments"
+ "the bad situation happens": which situation? did you mention it earlier in the essay? why are you using "the" there?
+ You definitely have to provide a conclusion for your essay which sums up everything you said above and re-instate your opinion.



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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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We are updating this writing outline. Please come back later!

IELTS Writing Word Count and IELTS Writing Time

IELTS Writing Task 1:
Timing: 20 minutes
Minimum word count: 150

IELTS Writing Task 2:
Timing: 40 minutes
Minimum word count: 250

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 1

There are 2 different formats. One is for the Academic module and the other is for the General module. However, for both modules, you will have to produce a writing of 150 words based on the given information.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - General Module
You are supposed to write a letter.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - Academic Module
You will be given a task based on some pictorial or graphic information. You have to describe the information provided.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 1

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

This task is more difficult than IELTS Writing Task 1
You have to write at least 250 words and, as Task 2 is longer than Task 1, you are advised to spend approximately 40 minutes on this task and 20 minutes on the first task.
You are expected to produce a writing on a given topic and to organise your answer correctly, giving some examples to support your ideas.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 2

Give your writing a good structure

1) Introduction is a must. You don't believe you could get a good grade without introduction, do you?

2) Body: 3 paragraphs are also necessary. Three is a magical number. It can do wonders to your overall band score.

3) Conclusion. You do not want to infuse your examiner with a feeling of incompleteness.

A Good Outline before you write is essential

What you are going to write in your essay? Write down the key ideas as short as possible.

An outline sample
Introduction - Topic and opinion in short
Paragraph 1 - staff working conditions are important
Paragraph 2 - employers should research and improve the working conditions
Paragraph 3 - concentrating more on their product is bad
Conclusion - Short summary of paragraphs

How will your essay look like?

Is it everything?

No, the structure you have just seen is a structure for an opinion essay.

What does it mean?

It means there are many different types of essays. If you go through our website, you can see that under IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2, there are different categories.
You need to go through each of them and study the structure for the particular writing type.

I do know the structure of an IELTS Writing but why I didn't score high in the exam?

There are many reasons. One of the many reasons is lacking of linking words.
Did you use linking words?
They would make your structure clearer and therefore improve your overal score.

Linking Words or Transitional Words

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This is how your essay is graded

There are 4 components: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Task Response means to what extend your essay covers the topic. For example, if the topic is "The advantages and disadvantages of globalization", you would have to write about both aspects not just only advantages or just only disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion means how well your paragraphs and sentences are connected. If your first paragraph is about advantages of globalisation, you should start your second paragraph with phrases such as "Despite the advantages, there are many disadvantages we should be aware of". Otherwise, your essay is just a list of items which are not related to each other.

Lexical Resource means vocabulary and different types of sentences, simple and complex. You should be able to demonstrate your capability in using English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy means spelling and grammar of sentences. You should be able to spell the words correctly, do not forget articles “a” and “the”, punctuations is also important.

One more important thing to know: the four criteria are equally weighted. It means that if you forgot about “Coherence and Cohesion” in your essay, you will loose 1/4 of your essay points.