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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample
University lecturer is now able to put their lectures on the internet for students to read and so the importance of attending face to face lectures has been reduced. Do you believe the use of internet in formal education is a good idea? What future effects will internet have on academic study?
How many words? How long?
One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)
This resource has been reviewed.
However, there are many mistakes.
Please check the critique so that you can become aware of these common errors!
Half of the mistakes have been fixed and the rest is given to you as an exercise.
You are encouraged to comment and report other mistakes because they are normally
repeated in the essay. Doing this gives you a better understanding of how to improve
your writing skills.
The effects of the Internet is not only limited to the enhanced accessibility of data and information, but it has gone beyond the unexpected. One of the most overt effects of the Internet is on education. Today, teachers make use of the internet to post lectures and even assignments, thus reducing the need to have classroom-base and face to face lectures.
I believe that the aid of the internet to formal education is really of great help. The reason is that students can visit their lecture site anytime they want to regardless of where they are, thus providing them convenience in studying and allowing them to do other things like part-time works and the like.
In addition, the use of online services for posting lectures helps the students to understand clearly the lessons taught. Mostly, lecturers can insert web links to the full definition of words which can be very confusing to many students, or the essential contents of lessons that need to be studied thoroughly. In that way, students can be challenge to study further, thus letting the students to become fully aware of the lessons posted. Moreover, the use of internet for posting lectures can also minimise the use of paper and photocopy machines, then preservation of energy and woods is very much possible.
However, in my own opinion the usage of internet in the long run can lead to negative effects. Since students and lecturers would rely on the internet heavily, it is more likely that some students may become “lazy learners”. Moreover, the universities might close temporarily or even permanently since the internet for academic study can be popular and widespread. This may even lead to the ignorance of many people to the real meaning and purpose of schools.
Furthermore, the evaluation of students can alter. Teachers may not fully see or observe if the students are learning from the lessons or not. It can also be possible for some students to let other persons answer their school tasks, so assessment of students may not be that accurate and reliable.
To sum up, the Internet has great effects on academic learning if utilised in the proper, right and wise way. Gaining education cannot fully depend with the utilisation of internet, yet it can only be one of the factors that could help with the progression of learning and teaching.
This critique is meant for the writing from sheeneeyoo
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were not able to achieve the task because you didn't show whether the use of the internet in formal education is a good idea and What future effects the internet will have on academic study.
Vocabulary is very weak and there were many errors in expressing ideas.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are poorly organised with incomplete ones.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+ Article "the": "The effects of internet" -> "The effects of the Internet"
+ Wrong in meaning: "The effects of internet is not only limited for accessing data and information"
> an effect is something that is produced by an agency or cause. In your sentence, it's more about the usage of the Internet.
> next the word "for" is used inappropriately. In this context, you should have used "to."
+ "not only" should be used with "but also" (in your introduction.)
+ You'd better use "the need" not "the chance" because of the incorrect meaning: "thus reducing the chance of a classroom-base and face to face lectures"
+ Problem in using Singular and plural at the same time: "a classroom-base and face to face lectures"
> "a" is for singular nouns
> You then used "lectures" (plural)
+ "I say so" is totally non academic.
+ Possession shouldn't be used here and the article "the" was wrongly used: "the lecture’s site" -> "lecture sites"
+ A paragraph shouldn't comprise of only 2 sentences.
+ "the lecturer can insert web links for the full definition": which lecturer? did you mention earlier?
+ The noun is plural, why did you use "needs"? "essential contents of the lesson that needs"
+ "In generalization"???