Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent.
Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.
The increasing number of marriage in the coming years contributes to the fact that the age of parents tends to be younger and younger. The issue how to feed and teach their children in the correct direction has been shown up in front of these low-aged parents. Setting up a specified course in school for young person to acknowledge the essential skills seems to be reasonable.
As to the skills of being a superior parent, responsibility is one of the crucial expertise in this area. The majority of the parents, especially who became parent at the early age, tend to rarely afford this burden and lack of patience to keep on educate their children. Recent research reported by East Daily, illustrates that approximately 35 percent of the young parents fail to watch their babies which is taken care of by their grandparent instead. This figure is also booming right now. Develop responsibility when they feed and educate their own boys or girls is supposed to be an evitable course for the special education institute.
Meanwhile, a well-qualified parent is capable of keeping the balance of award and punishment. It’s vital for parents to acquire this when handling their child’s trouble case. Provided that schools can supply the appropriate measures and approaches for young person in this situation, this can simply avoid the confusion and negative effect on his child.
To sum up, the qualification of being a good parent is involved in strong responsibilities for family, properly encouraging their children and criticizing the incorrect behavior when they are growing up. There is no doubt that schools should establish the lesson for every young person to acquire how to cultivate their next generation.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree
This critique is meant for the writing from bobby3239
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were able to achieve the task by showing whether you agree or disagree with the topic and describing the skills to be a good parent.
Vocabulary is quite good but you still need to improve.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are well organised with clear topic sentences.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+ Plural: "The increasing number of marriage" -> "The increasing number of marriages".
+ You were focusing too much on the wording and forgetting the real meaning here "The increasing number of marriages in the coming years contributes to the fact". Check out how I fixed that for you.
+ "expertise" was wrongly used.
+ Gerund: "keep on educate their children" -> "keep on educating their children"
+ You seem to have serious issues with punctuation:
"Recent research reported by East Daily, illustrates that".
> I said this because there have been many students making similar mistakes like this.
+ "Develop responsibility ... is supposed to be an evitable course": Wrong. Tell me which one is the main verb in that sentence.
+ I guessed you didn't want to say "an evitable course" but instead "an inevitable course"
+ "for the special education institute": which special education institute?
+ Many mistakes here "the balance of award and punishment":
> "the balance between ... and ... "
> Reward And Award
are different. Check out Reward And Award
+ Wrong "child’s trouble case"
+ "for every young person to acquire how to cultivate their next generation"
> you were using "every young person" which is single
> you then used "their" -> incorrect.
+ I prefer to use the word "skills" here: "the qualification of being a good parent" because the writing task asks you what the skills a person needs to be a good parent are, not about qualifications.