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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample
Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
How many words? How long?
One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)
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It is generally accepted that creativity should come along with no restrictions, even by government; therefore, reasonably, the freedom should be given to creative artists. Put differently, artists should have the right to express their own ideas in whatever ways they like.
Undoubtedly, creativity to a certain extent means no confines, and without confines, creative artists could produce attractive, original art works in the ways they prefer, and in that way their work could convey all their ideas effectively. “The Reader”, adapted into a movie from a book and both are exciting, is a perfect example best illustrated the importance of the "on restriction" for artists. Moreover, understandingly, only with this no-restriction can the world become a better civilized one, in which people could express their thoughts in numerous ways freely. Provided that artists can say their ideas in whatever way they wish, the diversity of the cultures and spirits will certainly boom. Thus, we can elevate our physiological states as well as enjoy feasts in physical lives like what Avatar brought to us.
However, not all the good will bring good results. For one thing, some people can create ideas which are essentially wrong. An example of wrong ideas could be the disabled are doomed in lower class and should be discriminated. Then, someone adapts them into a film with special effects. Hence, it may prevail among people including children who are easily accepted these wrong thoughts as norms. Move horribly, a few people might utilize the no-restriction regulations to spread anti-government ideas in disguised, favorable ways, which would probably damage the stability of a society. These aspects are better expelled from the no-restriction zone.
All in all, I think government restrictions of ways artists could use should diminish to some extent, but not completely. There are indeed some areas that need regulations. With the accurate circumference of restriction, I believe the world will become more civilized, cultures will diversify, and our lives will be enriched.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree
This critique is meant for the writing from FrancisQi
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were able to achieve the task by showing your opinion on the topic and state very clearly whether you agree or disaree with it.
Vocabulary is exceptional.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are well organised. If each paragraph has its own topic sentence, it would be far better. Currently, the first sentences do not show the ideas of the paragraphs.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+ Subject Verb Agreement: "all the good will brings good results" -> "all the good will bring
+ Please take a look back to your original writing. From there, you can realise your writing could have been far better than that. In the 3rd paragraph, the way you wrote could lead to serious confusion. Next, you should be more careful with how you use punctuation.