The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
Percentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002.
The table shows the expenditure for three different categories in five countries: Turkey,Ireland,Sweden,Spain and Italy in 2002.
For the food/drinks/tobacco category, Turkey was the most spending country with the percentage of 32.14%. On the other hand, Sweden was recorded having the lowest consumption with 15.77%.
Next, in the clothing and footwear category, Italy spent with the highest amount of 9.00%, followed by Turkey with 6.63%. Sweden was the least consuming country with 5.40%.
Finally, in the last category which is about leisure and education, Turkey was again the most spending country which had the consumption of 4.35% compared to the total expenditure. Lastly, Spain was cited to have the consumption of 1.98%, therefore was considered as the least spending country in the category.
In summary, Turkish people was mostly spending more in all the categories, especially in the food/drink/tobacco category. The least spending country was Sweden when compared across all the three categories.
This critique is meant for the writing from kamano
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were partially able to achieve the task by giving the details of expenditure in the 5 countries in 2002.
Vocabulary is very limited with lots of repetition.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are unclear, not well organized. You need to improve your skills in using transition words.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
You should improve your grammar skills because there were many incorrect words.
+Pay more attention to avoid grammatical mistakes such as "various three categories" => "three various categories".
+Wrong usage of "various" since there are only 3 categories.
+Your first sentence doesn't have clear subject/verb distinction.
+Wrong punctuation "It can be clearly seen,that" => "It can be clearly seen that".
+It should be homegeneous in the way you use "%" and "percent". You shouldn't use "32.14%" and "15.77 percent" as written in your original essay.
+"Proportion" refers to the relationship between different things or parts with respect to comparative size, number, or degree. In other words, you must have at least 2 things to compare. Therefore, you can't use it as you wrote in the essay.
+"expender" is not a correct word.
+The way you used linking words such as "in addition" is not appropriate.