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IELTS Writing Sample

High Sales of Popular Consumer Goods

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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent you agree or disagree?

How many words? How long?

One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)

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Today, it is a world of consumerism. Advertisements have always played a key role to boost up the sales of popular consumer products. However, innovative and attractive advertisements on mass-media often happen to entice people to buy unnecessary and lavish products which can leave a bad impact on people’s economic life.

To draw an example of how advertising influences people’s way of thinking one may look at advertisements made by manufacturers of lavish cars. These cars are very expensive to buy and cannot be afforded by most people in the society; nevertheless, they are still sold well due to attractive advertisements on radio and television which often involve the voice or appearance of famous movie stars. This kind of practice is also true for other consumer products such as LCD TV, soaps, mobile phones. As a result, people fail to accumulate any savings from their earnings as they simply spend too much on buying consumer goods. The high rate of consumptions may enlarge the distance between the rich and the poor of a society which may cause detriment for the overall economy in the long run.

From the above analysis, even though the consumer goods manufacturers have rights to advertise their products , there should be rules and regulations enacted by the government so that no one can mindlessly influence general people to buy unnecessary consumer products.


This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree  
Critique
This critique is meant for the writing from stopwatch. This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction to understand this critique!

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing your own opinions and to what extent you agree and disagree.

+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is not rich enough and sometimes used wrongly.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are clearly organised.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:
+ "unnecessary lavish products" -> "unnecessary and lavish products"
+ Verb: "how advertising influence people’s way of thinking" -> "how advertising influences people’s way of thinking"
+ Firstly, you shouldn't use contraction. Secondly, you should be cautious with the way you are using "the": "the ads made by the manufacturers" -> which ads? which manufacturers?
+ You should use comma when you use "As" at the beginning. For example: As it was raining heavily, we couldn't go to school.
+ You should re-consider how to use "nevertheless". It's used to link 2 clauses and used when showing surprising details. For example:
Tom has been living in China for 10 years; nevertheless, he couldn't speak any Chinese.
> In the example, you can see "nevertheless" is used in the 2nd clause where we were showing surprising details.
> Having explained that, I also want to recommend you that you shouldn't use "anyway" where you have already used "nevertheless".
+ Try not to use "so on". It's not considered formal in writing. When you use "such as", other recipients know there are more things.
+ "expend" was incorrect in the context you were using it.
+ Punctuation:
> "As a result" -> "As a result,"
+ "detrimental" is adjective. You can't use like that. You should have used "detriment".
+ You should clearly state your side whether you agree or disagree. We can see that you agree with the statement "the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold". However, it was not clearly stated in your essay.
+ "Analysing the above discussion" is not a right way to express your idea -> "From the above analysis".
+ From our experience, you'd better organise your essay in such a way that there should be 1 introduction, 3 body paragraphs, and 1 conclusion.



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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Go To Sample

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We are updating this writing outline. Please come back later!

IELTS Writing Word Count and IELTS Writing Time

IELTS Writing Task 1:
Timing: 20 minutes
Minimum word count: 150

IELTS Writing Task 2:
Timing: 40 minutes
Minimum word count: 250

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 1

There are 2 different formats. One is for the Academic module and the other is for the General module. However, for both modules, you will have to produce a writing of 150 words based on the given information.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - General Module
You are supposed to write a letter.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - Academic Module
You will be given a task based on some pictorial or graphic information. You have to describe the information provided.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 1

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

This task is more difficult than IELTS Writing Task 1
You have to write at least 250 words and, as Task 2 is longer than Task 1, you are advised to spend approximately 40 minutes on this task and 20 minutes on the first task.
You are expected to produce a writing on a given topic and to organise your answer correctly, giving some examples to support your ideas.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 2

Give your writing a good structure

1) Introduction is a must. You don't believe you could get a good grade without introduction, do you?

2) Body: 3 paragraphs are also necessary. Three is a magical number. It can do wonders to your overall band score.

3) Conclusion. You do not want to infuse your examiner with a feeling of incompleteness.

A Good Outline before you write is essential

What you are going to write in your essay? Write down the key ideas as short as possible.

An outline sample
Introduction - Topic and opinion in short
Paragraph 1 - staff working conditions are important
Paragraph 2 - employers should research and improve the working conditions
Paragraph 3 - concentrating more on their product is bad
Conclusion - Short summary of paragraphs

How will your essay look like?

Is it everything?

No, the structure you have just seen is a structure for an opinion essay.

What does it mean?

It means there are many different types of essays. If you go through our website, you can see that under IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2, there are different categories.
You need to go through each of them and study the structure for the particular writing type.

I do know the structure of an IELTS Writing but why I didn't score high in the exam?

There are many reasons. One of the many reasons is lacking of linking words.
Did you use linking words?
They would make your structure clearer and therefore improve your overal score.

Linking Words or Transitional Words

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Please go to the category "IELTS Preparation" for more tips and advice!

This is how your essay is graded

There are 4 components: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Task Response means to what extend your essay covers the topic. For example, if the topic is "The advantages and disadvantages of globalization", you would have to write about both aspects not just only advantages or just only disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion means how well your paragraphs and sentences are connected. If your first paragraph is about advantages of globalisation, you should start your second paragraph with phrases such as "Despite the advantages, there are many disadvantages we should be aware of". Otherwise, your essay is just a list of items which are not related to each other.

Lexical Resource means vocabulary and different types of sentences, simple and complex. You should be able to demonstrate your capability in using English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy means spelling and grammar of sentences. You should be able to spell the words correctly, do not forget articles “a” and “the”, punctuations is also important.

One more important thing to know: the four criteria are equally weighted. It means that if you forgot about “Coherence and Cohesion” in your essay, you will loose 1/4 of your essay points.