Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Today an increasing number of food items offered in supermarkets are imported. Popular food sometimes also has to travel huge distances. I will explore the reasons for this tendency and discuss its benefits and drawbacks.
While delicacies and spices have been internationally traded for centuries, today’s global trade with low transportation costs and fewer trade barriers have encouraged importing food in large quantities. In some places, even everyday items and inexpensive food like pasta or vinegar can be imported cheaper than being produced locally. Consequently, supermarkets take advantage of this development.
Imported food comes at a price for consumers, the local agriculture and the environment. First of all, some food will lose flavour and freshness when travelling by cargo ship for weeks. Fruit has to be shipped before fully ripe or additional preservatives have to be added. Secondly, local farmers may not be able to compete with the low cost of imported food. They will go out of business or stop growing local fruit or vegetable species at all. This can lead to less variety in local food offered. Additionally, the transportation itself is harmful to the environment as it uses fossil fuels. For all of these reasons a quite vocal "local food" movement has formed in recent years trying to promote and preserve food quality and locally grown food.
It can be argued that imported food benefits consumers with low prices and provisioning of choice. Supermarkets can choose the least expensive suppliers worldwide and offer food at a lower price to their customers. Imported food also enables them to offer more choices, like exotic fruits and international food, to their customers. For example, in some countries it would be impossible to sell most types of fresh fruit and vegetables in winter at all if they were not imported.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
IELTS Opinion Essays
This critique is meant for the writing from katisss
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were not fully able to achieve the task. There are 2 key requirements in this writing topic:
>why food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers.
>you have to choose and give your arguments as to whether it's a positive or negative trend.
You have achieved the first one but for the second one, you haven't clearly stated where your stand is. You simply wrote the advantages and disadvantages of the trend.
Vocabulary is good and you have demonstrated your ability in using a wide range of vocabulary.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are clearly organised.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+The topic is not about import and export. Even though it's about the fact that food has to travel miles before reaching customers, you should not assume this is only meant for importing food which can also result in the significant trend.
+As far as I know, people have different opinions on how to use "Nowadays" correctly. If you google it up, you can find that in some cases, for the same sentence, a teacher can mark it as incorrect whereas another teacher will accept it.
>In my opinion, it's quite informal to use "nowadays" at the beginning of your essay.
+Unclear expression: "Sometimes even
quite ordinary food has travelled huge distances". Example:
>Even she's on diet, she is still eating too much chocolate.
>Even banana is easily found in China, it's still imported.
As you can see "even" is normally used for contrasting 2 events. However, your sentence has only one phrase. Therefore, it seems to be incomplete.
+If you can be more specific, your writing would be much better: "I will explore the reasons for this tendency and discuss its benefits and drawbacks."
+Subject Verb Agreement:
>"today’s global trade ... and ... barriers has
encouraged importing food" -> "today’s global trade ... and ... barriers have
encouraged importing food"
>"In some places even everyday items" -> "In some places, even everyday items"
+Unbalance: "Fruit has to be shipped before fully ripe or additional preservatives have to be added to food"
>Firstly you talked about fruit but at the end you used "food" not "fruit".
+Wrong "less local variety in food offered" -> "less variety in local food offered"
+Wrong "local grown food" -> "locally grown food"
+Plural "the least expensive supplier" -> "the least expensive suppliers."
+"Importing food" -> "Imported food"
+"most kind of fresh fruits
and vegetables" -> "most types
of fresh fruit