People nowadays put more emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are more important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As human beings, we are sociable creatures that have developed many ways to communicate our messages, thoughts and feelings with others. In today's society where the job market is so competitive, in addition to good qualifications, social skills also play a key role more than ever before.
Undoubtedly, academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example, it is impossible to be a surgeon or a scientist without having relevant degrees or qualifications. However, social skills are strongly required so that they can effectively perform their duties.
Nowadays, where the job market is becoming increasingly competitive and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for a single position in a company and any employer wants the best person. Hence, only those that have both good communication skills as well as required qualifications will win this competition.
Furthermore, there are several personally and professionally distinct advantages of having interpersonal skills. For instance, by developing this art of communication, one can maintain healthy relationships with friends and his family. Even in one's professional life, effective relationship with one's managers, clients or colleagues can help a person to enhance the possibility of advancement and promotions in his career ladder.
To put into nutshell, I pen down saying that I totally agree that social skills are really important along with university qualifications to survive in this highly competitive world. They are not only important for one's professional life but also helpful for his personal life.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree
This critique is meant for the writing from batra08
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were able to achieve the task by showing your opinion as to whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the essay's requirement.
Vocabulary is sufficient.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are clearly organised. Good use of transition words: in addition, furthermore, to put into nutshell.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
>"sociable creature" -> "sociable creatures"
>"good qualification" -> "good qualifications"
>"relevant degrees": you were giving examples of being a surgeon or a scientist.
>A comma should be placed right after this: "in addition to ... , "
+In this context, I believe you really wanted to say "sociable creatures and have developed" -> "sociable creatures that have developed".
+Try to avoid using too much "nowadays".
+Too long: "academic qualifications are ... for example it is ..." -> 2 sentences.
+Avoid repetition: "... to communicate
our messages, ... with others for better communication
+Be careful with comma: "To, put into nutshell" -> "To put into nutshell".
+Never start a sentence with "but", "so" (personal advice)
+Wrong way of expressing "But even though"
+"employer wants the best ..." -> "any employer wants the best ..."
+Restructure this sentence "only those will win this competition that has both good"
+Wrong "only those that has" -> "only those that have".
+Should change "interpersonal qualities" -> "interpersonall skills".
+Regarding "healthy relationship with friends and family", I think by "relationship" you mean "contacts".
+"Boss" is not really academic.
+"the university qualification": which "university qualification"?
+Not balanced "not only important(adjective)
... but also give (verb)