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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample
Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement and give your opinion.
How many words? How long?
One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)
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Traveling abroad provides various opportunities. Students, however, may get concerned about whether they should study abroad or not. It is commonly believed that students with overseas education tend to get the edge over other students. On the other hand, there are problems that international students could encouter and therefore should be taken into consideration. Both sides of the argument will be critiqued before a well-reasoned conclusion is formed.
People who have earned a degree outside the country are seen as more successful than those who got their degree locally. For example, in the Philippines, particularly in my hometown, a majority of my former classmates who chose to continue their studies abroad have acquired better jobs than the ones confined to the local universities. Additionally, an education accomplished abroad is preferred by most employers. Thus, it is clear why many prefer to travel abroad for education.
However, some believe that studying abroad could lead to quite a few problems and hindrances. As an example, students need a great deal of funding in order to pursue a degree overseas. The cost of a whole year education in the country could be equated to just a month of studying abroad. In fact, local universities are also able to produce top quality graduates able to compete with international students even if the expenses differ by large. Another problem is the need to adjust to other cultures which may vary differently from the one of the student's country. This may either lead to a culture shock or give the student difficulty in adjusting to the new environment. Because of this it is easy to understand why some people prefer to study in a local University.
After analyzing both sides of the debate, it is difficult not to side with the more practical approach of local education because local universities are able to compete with the international graduates.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree
This critique is meant for the writing from uliber25
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were able to achieve the task by showing your own opinions and to what extent you agree and disagree.
Vocabulary is good and you have demonstrated your ability in using a wide range of vocabulary.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are clearly organised.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+Subject Verb Agreement:
>"Traveling abroad provide" -> "Traveling abroad provides"
>"an overseas education give"
>"studying abroad provide a lot of problems"
>"On one hand"
+Not clear meaning "many people say ... them ... students": between them and students.
>We can guess what you meant but it's not good for your writing result.
+"On the other" is not a correct phrase.
+Problems with expression: "some consider the problems that may be encountered during the process".
+"a lot" is not considered to be formal in writing.
+"To point out a few" is informal.
+You should google up for the usage of "equate".
+You should use "analysing" instead of "analyzing". It is just because Australian people tend to use like that.