Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, it has become an extremely controversial issue around the world that genetically modified crops have many drawbacks whose serious consequences on human health and the environment are not thoroughly understood in spite of its improvement to the increased volume of food. In this paper, I am going to analyse the advantages and disadvantages of genetically modified food.
First and foremost, it is, perhaps, the case that genetically modified food is a good way to produce huge amount of food in a short time period and with less money.Equally important, people can cultivate this type of food in areas where it is difficult to grow because of low soil quality and lack of source of water for irrigation. It is certainly true that genetic modification is a good way to produce many types of seeds that have higher resistance to many well-known food diseases.
In spite of these benefits, there are a significantly high number of disadvantages related to genetically modified food. Perhaps one of the most obvious points is that it is causing more diseases to human being. Moreover, the organic food has more nutritive value than genetically modified food like vitamins and minerals.It seems to be clear that the genetically modified food may contribute to the pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds.
In conclusion, it is not doubtful that genetically modified food has both advantages and disadvantages. Some people emphasize the benefits of GM foods, while others are focused more on the negative side. To put it a different way, provided that the government address the magnitude of this massive issue and its underlying the causes, they can make a significant difference.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree
This critique is meant for the writing from merkhan
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were not able to achieve the task because you didn't say where you stand whether you agree or disagree with the statement "Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited" in the requirement.
Vocabulary is quite good but you need to put more effort into improving it. There were many words/phrases you used incorrectly.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are quite organised even though you used some contradicting ideas in improper places.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+ You are adding too many stop words. Just use simple but effective sentences.
+ You are contradicting yourself: "... extremely controversial issue ... that genetically modified food has many benefit and drawback"
> How come a controversial issue is about having both benefits and drawbacks?
+ You tried to use linking phrases such as "therefore" but it was not properly used since it doesn't make sense.
"it has become an extremely controversial issue ... Therefore, for the purposes of this essay, I shall confine"
+ Incorrect "in short period"
+ incomplete phrase: "and less money". In that context, you should use "and with less money"
+ "because bad soil quality" -> "because of bad soil quality"
+ Wrong in the meaning "genetically modified food is a good way to produce many types of seeds"
+ "disadvantages" is countable -> Wrong "a great deal of disadvantages"
+ 2 errors in this phrase "it is cause many disease among the people"
> which one is the main verb? "is" or "cause"?
> "many diseases"
+ "What is more" is for spoken english. It's not suitable for academic writing.
+ The third paragraph was about the cons of GM food. Why did you put this sentence there "the organic food has more nutritive value"?
+ You don't have any supporting examples for this statement "genetically modified food may contribute pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds".
+ "however" was not used properly here "In conclusion, however, it is not doubtful that"