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IELTS Writing Sample

Increasing Crime And What Governments Can Do

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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample

In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

How many words? How long?

One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)

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In the contemporary world, the reported cases of crime all over the world are alarmingly increasing. It is believed that the main reasons behind this are the rise in population and the increase in the inflation rate. This can be harnessed with the involvement of the Government which is discussed further in the context of this essay.

In order to justify my point of view, I would like to state that the population of a country will be the first and foremost reason behind this increase in crime. Take India for instance, it is a developing country and in the prevailing scenario its population is sky rocketing, which creates a significant number of problems. With respects to that, unemployment is the major one; consequently, educated and sophisticated people survive without jobs and result in indulge in the crime to bear their expenses. Thus it is clear from this example that population is the major cause which ultimately forces people to commit crimes. To combat this grave problem, governments can arrange educational classes and programs to increase public awareness about the exacerbated effects of the increase in population.

Furthermore, the inflation rate is another reason for the increase in the number of crime cases in certain countries. To illustrate, In India nowadays, the inflation rate is booming continuously; which causes enormous problems and creates an inequality between rich and poor people, as rich become richer and poor become poorer. Hence, it has been seen from this example that the increase in inflation also leads to the increase of crime to some extent. This grim and gruesome problem can be tackled only by Governments, so government should adopt some leniency against the poor people and give them rebates so that they can survive and bear their expenses smoothly.

Eventually, after analyzing all the views, I would like to conclude that crime in any way is a major problem for any country. It needs a combined effort by Governments, masses and classes of any country to join the hands together to nip this evil into the bud. Otherwise it is expected that it could be worsen in near future.

This writing is found under the following category(ies):
IELTS Opinion Essays  
Critique
This critique is meant for the writing from kailash. This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction to understand this critique!

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were fully able to achieve the task by showing the reason why crime is increasing and what governments can do to help reduce it with relevant examples.
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is excellent.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are well organised.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
You have very good writing skills but you lack of strong grammar knowledge. At first, you could have score 7.5 but after taking into consideration the errors you made especially subject verb agreement and plural nouns, your score can be pulled down to 6.
Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:
+ "the crime is increasing": which crime?
> It should be "crime is increasing" without the word "the".
> Check up how I paraphrased your sentence "the crime all around the globe is increasing at an alarming rate"
+ Passive "This can be harness with the involvement" -> "This can be harnessed with the involvement"
+ "its population is sky rocketing, which create so many problems": "create" -> "creats" (subject verb agreement)
+ "so many problems" is not academic. Please check how I fixed that up.
+ "In which unemployment is the major one; consequently, educated and sophisticated people survive ...": "in which" should be used for relative clauses. In other words, you can't use it to start a sentence refering to the subject in the preceding sentence.
+ "to bear their expense" -> "to bear their expenses"
+ "the major cause which ultimately force people" -> "the major cause which ultimately forces people"
+ Punctuation and plural: "To combat this grave problem government can arrange" -> "To combat this grave problem, governments can arrange"
+ "governments can arrange some educational problem ... in population": You should rewrite this since there are many grammatical errors resulting in confusions in its meaning.
> "exacerbated affects" -> "exacerbated effects"
+ "the inflation rate is booming continuously; which cause enormous problem and create an inequality between rich and poor people"
> subject verb agreement problem
> Plural
+ "problem can be tackle only by Government": subject verb agreement and plural
+ "combine effort" -> "combined effort"



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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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We are updating this writing outline. Please come back later!

IELTS Writing Word Count and IELTS Writing Time

IELTS Writing Task 1:
Timing: 20 minutes
Minimum word count: 150

IELTS Writing Task 2:
Timing: 40 minutes
Minimum word count: 250

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 1

There are 2 different formats. One is for the Academic module and the other is for the General module. However, for both modules, you will have to produce a writing of 150 words based on the given information.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - General Module
You are supposed to write a letter.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - Academic Module
You will be given a task based on some pictorial or graphic information. You have to describe the information provided.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 1

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

This task is more difficult than IELTS Writing Task 1
You have to write at least 250 words and, as Task 2 is longer than Task 1, you are advised to spend approximately 40 minutes on this task and 20 minutes on the first task.
You are expected to produce a writing on a given topic and to organise your answer correctly, giving some examples to support your ideas.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 2

Give your writing a good structure

1) Introduction is a must. You don't believe you could get a good grade without introduction, do you?

2) Body: 3 paragraphs are also necessary. Three is a magical number. It can do wonders to your overall band score.

3) Conclusion. You do not want to infuse your examiner with a feeling of incompleteness.

A Good Outline before you write is essential

What you are going to write in your essay? Write down the key ideas as short as possible.

An outline sample
Introduction - Topic and opinion in short
Paragraph 1 - staff working conditions are important
Paragraph 2 - employers should research and improve the working conditions
Paragraph 3 - concentrating more on their product is bad
Conclusion - Short summary of paragraphs

How will your essay look like?

Is it everything?

No, the structure you have just seen is a structure for an opinion essay.

What does it mean?

It means there are many different types of essays. If you go through our website, you can see that under IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2, there are different categories.
You need to go through each of them and study the structure for the particular writing type.

I do know the structure of an IELTS Writing but why I didn't score high in the exam?

There are many reasons. One of the many reasons is lacking of linking words.
Did you use linking words?
They would make your structure clearer and therefore improve your overal score.

Linking Words or Transitional Words

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This is how your essay is graded

There are 4 components: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Task Response means to what extend your essay covers the topic. For example, if the topic is "The advantages and disadvantages of globalization", you would have to write about both aspects not just only advantages or just only disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion means how well your paragraphs and sentences are connected. If your first paragraph is about advantages of globalisation, you should start your second paragraph with phrases such as "Despite the advantages, there are many disadvantages we should be aware of". Otherwise, your essay is just a list of items which are not related to each other.

Lexical Resource means vocabulary and different types of sentences, simple and complex. You should be able to demonstrate your capability in using English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy means spelling and grammar of sentences. You should be able to spell the words correctly, do not forget articles “a” and “the”, punctuations is also important.

One more important thing to know: the four criteria are equally weighted. It means that if you forgot about “Coherence and Cohesion” in your essay, you will loose 1/4 of your essay points.