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IELTS Writing Sample

Happiness In Life

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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

How many words? How long?

One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)

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As far as I know, the perception of happiness differs considerably from one individual to another as a result of the diversity of characteristics and environmental factors. In this essay, a few factors to attain happiness will be identified.

Admittedly, happiness means different things to different people because of their various perceptions. Some people refer happiness as a feeling of pleasure or enjoyment. For instance, a child has toys, a girl owns a shoes collection or people enjoy spending time with their family and friends. Nevertheless, other people see money as a source of happiness. They sacrifice everything in their pursuit of wealth and consider that earning money is solely a way to attain happiness.

Another reason why people have difficulty in defining happiness is that their objectives and interests vary in different life stages. One has the passion for toys as a child, fashionable clothing as a youth, an admirable occupation as an adult and possibly a company of family members as an elder. With age, one’s attitudes, capabilities and concerns are subject to change. Following the latest fads, for examples, appeals to young people, despite the expenditure of time and money. By comparison, senior people are hardly interested in their clothes fashion. They even tend to regard them as a wasteful use of money.

Considering the fact that people are all motivated to attain objectives for their happiness, they should first give different weight to different subjects, such as health, money, family or occupation. Few people can attain several aims at the same time. Therefore, the primary factor to achieve happiness is identifying the top priority elements. In addition, in order to be truly happy, it is necessary to live a good life as well as to do something useful with their lives. Some people get a sense of achievement from their work, whereas others find happiness is bringing up their children.

In conclusion, each person defines happiness in his own ways based on personal perceptions and life stages. In general, determining the top priority elements in achieving one's objectives and living a good life are the two most important factors to attain happiness.

This writing is found under the following category(ies):
IELTS Opinion Essays  
Critique
This critique is meant for the writing from prettylana. This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction to understand this critique!

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing the reasons for difficulty in defining happiness and the key factors to attain it .
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is good with some neglectable mistakes which could be easily improved.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are well organised with clear topic sentences.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:
+ "the mixes effect" doesn't sound academic.
+ "determine" was not used properly in "My essay will determine some factors"
> "determine" is to decide or settle conclusively and authoritatively (I suppose you were going to discuss the topic not giving a definite conclusion about how to attain happiness)
> "My essay will determine": your essay is only a writing task. It's not a person to decide something.
+ "Admittedly, happiness means different things to different people"
> it's not wrong but you shouldn't start your discussion by saying "admittedly" because it implies that this is a fact and we need not discuss at all. (just my personal feeling)
> and in academic writing, people normally start by discussing a matter and then gradually go to a conclusion.
+ "another people see money as a source of happiness"
> "another" is for singular nouns but "people" is plural.
+ You are missing an article here "earning money is solely way"
+ "in their clothes in fashion" -> "in their clothes fashion"
+ "identifies happiness as their own ways base on" -> "identifies happiness in their own ways based on"
+ "each person identifies happiness in his own ways":
> "identify" is to establish or indicate who or what. It's subtly different from "define"



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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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IELTS Writing Word Count and IELTS Writing Time

IELTS Writing Task 1:
Timing: 20 minutes
Minimum word count: 150

IELTS Writing Task 2:
Timing: 40 minutes
Minimum word count: 250

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 1

There are 2 different formats. One is for the Academic module and the other is for the General module. However, for both modules, you will have to produce a writing of 150 words based on the given information.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - General Module
You are supposed to write a letter.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - Academic Module
You will be given a task based on some pictorial or graphic information. You have to describe the information provided.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 1

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

This task is more difficult than IELTS Writing Task 1
You have to write at least 250 words and, as Task 2 is longer than Task 1, you are advised to spend approximately 40 minutes on this task and 20 minutes on the first task.
You are expected to produce a writing on a given topic and to organise your answer correctly, giving some examples to support your ideas.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 2

Give your writing a good structure

1) Introduction is a must. You don't believe you could get a good grade without introduction, do you?

2) Body: 3 paragraphs are also necessary. Three is a magical number. It can do wonders to your overall band score.

3) Conclusion. You do not want to infuse your examiner with a feeling of incompleteness.

A Good Outline before you write is essential

What you are going to write in your essay? Write down the key ideas as short as possible.

An outline sample
Introduction - Topic and opinion in short
Paragraph 1 - staff working conditions are important
Paragraph 2 - employers should research and improve the working conditions
Paragraph 3 - concentrating more on their product is bad
Conclusion - Short summary of paragraphs

How will your essay look like?

Is it everything?

No, the structure you have just seen is a structure for an opinion essay.

What does it mean?

It means there are many different types of essays. If you go through our website, you can see that under IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2, there are different categories.
You need to go through each of them and study the structure for the particular writing type.

I do know the structure of an IELTS Writing but why I didn't score high in the exam?

There are many reasons. One of the many reasons is lacking of linking words.
Did you use linking words?
They would make your structure clearer and therefore improve your overal score.

Linking Words or Transitional Words

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This is how your essay is graded

There are 4 components: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Task Response means to what extend your essay covers the topic. For example, if the topic is "The advantages and disadvantages of globalization", you would have to write about both aspects not just only advantages or just only disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion means how well your paragraphs and sentences are connected. If your first paragraph is about advantages of globalisation, you should start your second paragraph with phrases such as "Despite the advantages, there are many disadvantages we should be aware of". Otherwise, your essay is just a list of items which are not related to each other.

Lexical Resource means vocabulary and different types of sentences, simple and complex. You should be able to demonstrate your capability in using English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy means spelling and grammar of sentences. You should be able to spell the words correctly, do not forget articles “a” and “the”, punctuations is also important.

One more important thing to know: the four criteria are equally weighted. It means that if you forgot about “Coherence and Cohesion” in your essay, you will loose 1/4 of your essay points.