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IELTS Writing Sample

Advantages And Disadvantages of Increasing Tourism

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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample

The costs of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries?

How many words? How long?

One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)

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In recent decades, low cost airfare has made international travel easier and many countries have, therefore, developed their tourism industries into key sectors of their economies. While it is clear tourism brings obvious benefits to the countries that host tourists, it is also true to say it may bring disadvantages as well.

Undoubtedly, there are significant benefits that tourism brings to a country. First, a thriving tourist industry implies an increasing need for a variety of services such as hotels, transport, restaurants, and entertainment. This results in a considerable number of jobs being created for people who lack a college education and also the development of the infrastructure needed to accommodate visitors. Moreover, tourism is a "green" industry that, unlike factories, generates a low level of pollution. In fact, because beautiful natural landscapes are often places that tourists come to see, a country will often be sure to maintain the landscape in order to keep it attractive for tourists.

Despite the benefits, there are aspects of tourism that may prove harmful to a country. For instance, a country may suffer from the loss of their traditional culture. This is caused by people in a country changing their lifestyle, customs, and language in order to more effectively serve visitors or because they become influenced by foreign countries. This can cause stress in a traditional society and could even lead to animosity towards tourists. In addition, because tourists often carry expensive objects like cameras and are unaware of their surroundings, they make good targets for theft. Crime also increases as a result of the increases in drugs and prostitution that caters to some vacationers.

In summary, global tourism is greatly beneficial to an economy and environment of a country. However, it can be detrimental in several ways. To my way of thinking, a country should seek to develop its tourism industry because it can bring steady jobs to many people without their need for higher education and without the risk of environmental damages.

This writing is found under the following category(ies):
IELTS Opinion Essays   Advantages Disadvantages Essay  
Critique
This critique is meant for the writing from weasel27193. This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction to understand this critique!

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing your own opinions on the pros and cons of increasing tourism activity.

+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is well thought and demonstrates your flexibility in using different constructs of English language.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are clearly organised.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:
+ it's not wrong to say "traveling the world" in the introduction but it will sound more academic if it's replaced with "international travel". The same principle applies in the following phrases:
> "It cannot be denied that" -> "undoubtedly"
+ Your vocabulary and grammar skills are very good but they can be improved to be more academic, thereby raising your IELTS test results. Please check your edited essay to see the way your sentences are paraphrased.
+ "as a result of that increases": increases is plural, it's wrong to use "that".



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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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We are updating this writing outline. Please come back later!

IELTS Writing Word Count and IELTS Writing Time

IELTS Writing Task 1:
Timing: 20 minutes
Minimum word count: 150

IELTS Writing Task 2:
Timing: 40 minutes
Minimum word count: 250

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 1

There are 2 different formats. One is for the Academic module and the other is for the General module. However, for both modules, you will have to produce a writing of 150 words based on the given information.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - General Module
You are supposed to write a letter.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - Academic Module
You will be given a task based on some pictorial or graphic information. You have to describe the information provided.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 1

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

This task is more difficult than IELTS Writing Task 1
You have to write at least 250 words and, as Task 2 is longer than Task 1, you are advised to spend approximately 40 minutes on this task and 20 minutes on the first task.
You are expected to produce a writing on a given topic and to organise your answer correctly, giving some examples to support your ideas.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 2

Give your writing a good structure

1) Introduction is a must. You don't believe you could get a good grade without introduction, do you?

2) Body: 3 paragraphs are also necessary. Three is a magical number. It can do wonders to your overall band score.

3) Conclusion. You do not want to infuse your examiner with a feeling of incompleteness.

A Good Outline before you write is essential

What you are going to write in your essay? Write down the key ideas as short as possible.

An outline sample
Introduction - Topic and opinion in short
Paragraph 1 - staff working conditions are important
Paragraph 2 - employers should research and improve the working conditions
Paragraph 3 - concentrating more on their product is bad
Conclusion - Short summary of paragraphs

How will your essay look like?

Is it everything?

No, the structure you have just seen is a structure for an opinion essay.

What does it mean?

It means there are many different types of essays. If you go through our website, you can see that under IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2, there are different categories.
You need to go through each of them and study the structure for the particular writing type.

I do know the structure of an IELTS Writing but why I didn't score high in the exam?

There are many reasons. One of the many reasons is lacking of linking words.
Did you use linking words?
They would make your structure clearer and therefore improve your overal score.

Linking Words or Transitional Words

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This is how your essay is graded

There are 4 components: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Task Response means to what extend your essay covers the topic. For example, if the topic is "The advantages and disadvantages of globalization", you would have to write about both aspects not just only advantages or just only disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion means how well your paragraphs and sentences are connected. If your first paragraph is about advantages of globalisation, you should start your second paragraph with phrases such as "Despite the advantages, there are many disadvantages we should be aware of". Otherwise, your essay is just a list of items which are not related to each other.

Lexical Resource means vocabulary and different types of sentences, simple and complex. You should be able to demonstrate your capability in using English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy means spelling and grammar of sentences. You should be able to spell the words correctly, do not forget articles “a” and “the”, punctuations is also important.

One more important thing to know: the four criteria are equally weighted. It means that if you forgot about “Coherence and Cohesion” in your essay, you will loose 1/4 of your essay points.