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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.
What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more auspicious of their benefits?
How many words? How long?
One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)
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Computerisation is a new trend which is very controversial. With the advance of computers, our life has become much easier. In the future, it is very likely that the computer can even be used to control flights automatically and many other fascinating things. However, it is also alarming because we are becoming more dependent on them. Therefore, some people believe it would lead to negative effects on the development of human beings. In this paper, I’m going to discuss how the computer can improve our life and why we need not be suspicious of their benefits.
Firstly, the computer has been proven to save many of our labour jobs. The computer assists people in doing repeated activities. For example, speaking of mathematics, it can be leveraged to perform many time-consuming mathematical questions which would take us ten times longer when using manual calculation.
Next, the efficiency of our performances could be increased. The behaviours of the computer are much disciplined. In other words, it follows strictly a set of predefined procedures to carry out a task. Hence, our jobs can be done with more accuracy.
Moreover, it reduces the participation of human in some dangerous jobs such as mining. For example, as mentioned in many newspapers, Japan is gradually replacing human with robots in mining related activities. Hence, the risk of losing human life can be significantly reduced.
Finally, I’m going to prove that we need not be suspicious of the computer’s benefits. This perception seems to stem from the thought that computers can take over the control of human or even replacing human. I admit that the computer is replacing human in some areas but those areas were well considered in advance. For example, instead of letting people to go to rescue in some dangerous areas, they use robots. Therefore, the usage of the computer is actually determined by us even though it is being used to replace human labour.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
IELTS Opinion Essays
You were able to achieve the task by showing your viewpoint about:
1)what things computers can be used for in the future.
2)whether the dependence on computers is a good thing or not
3)should we be more auspicious of their benefits
Vocabulary is varied: computerisation, negative effects, disciplined, leveraged, procedures, stem from .
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
There are a number of transition words used: however, therefore, firstly, next, moreover, finally.
The organization is clear and logical. There are 5 paragraphs totally which is very good because it ensures you have enough time and still be able to express your ideas.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
>change "save" in the 2nd paragraph to "reduce"
from "the computer has been proven to save many of our labour jobs" to "the computer has been proven to reduce many of our labour jobs"
>change "perform" to "solve" in the 2nd paragraph.
>change "when using manual calculation" to "than doing manually" in the 2nd paragraph.