Do you like this?
this writing is related to task 1 the graph I describe found on this site http://www.ielts-exam.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=296&Itemid=64 the topic of the graph The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This is a writing submitted by mostafa for a free review. Please submit your writing at IELTS Writing Correction for a free review.
You were able to achieve the task by describing the trends shown in the 2 graphs.
Vocabulary is fairly good but wrongly used in many places in the essay.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are clearly organised.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+ After reading your essay, we noticed you are very weak at using prepositions.
+ You shouldn't repeat the requirement "the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported".
+ Wrong "between the period 2000 and 2005"
> Right: between 2000 and 2005
> Right: in the period from 2000 to 2005
> Right: in the period between 2000 and 2005
+ Simple Past:
> "the total exports value reach 250000 million dollars at 2002"
-> "the total exports value reached 250000 million dollars in 2002"
> "it reach 350000 million dollars at 2003" -> "it reached 350000 million dollars in 2003" (preposition "in")
+ Missing article: "increased with linear rate" -> "increased with a linear rate"
+ "The trend was then continuously rise": you are using 2 verbs in the same sentence.
-> "the trend was then on a continous rise"
+ Strange expression "into a new peak at 2005" -> "peaked at 420000 in 2005"
+ Wrong "in the range below 10000 million dollars"
+ Unnecessary to say "from a value under" -> "from under ... to ..."
+ Wrong "fell into 20000 million dollars"
Example: he fell into a big well in the garden.
Where you find free IELTS Resources, Materials, Samples to study and practice for the IELTS exam.
|Log in | Register | Free Review|
Do you like this?