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IELTS Writing Correction

Author: mostafa

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this writing is related to task 1 the graph I describe found on this site the topic of the graph The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This is a writing submitted by mostafa for a free review. Please submit your writing at IELTS Writing Correction for a free review.

Original writing:
The graphs show the relation between the total value of exports , the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported between the period 2000 and 2005.

The first graph represents the value of total exports between the years 2000 and 2005. The total exports were 300000 million dollars at 2000. There was a steady decline till the total exports value reach 250000 million dollars at 2002. The value of total exports increased with linear rate till it reach 350000 million dollars at 2003. The trend was then continuously rise into a new peak at 2005.

The value of selected exports over the period from 2000 to 2005 was shown in the second graph. The value of food fluctuated slightly over the period in the range below 10000 million dollars. The manufactured food increased from a value under 20000 million dollars till a peak at 2002 above 20000 million dollars then fell into 20000 million dollars at 2003 followed by a rise to a new peak at 2005.The fuel value plunged from a peak value at 2000 to a minimum value at 2005 of 20000 million dollars.

This writing has also been posted at IELTS Writing Sample. There might be an improved version of the writing there so please visit IELTS Writing Sample.

You were able to achieve the task by describing the trends shown in the 2 graphs.

Vocabulary is fairly good but wrongly used in many places in the essay.

Paragraphs are clearly organised.

Compare to the original writing.

+ After reading your essay, we noticed you are very weak at using prepositions.
+ You shouldn't repeat the requirement "the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported".
+ Wrong "between the period 2000 and 2005"
> Right: between 2000 and 2005
> Right: in the period from 2000 to 2005
> Right: in the period between 2000 and 2005
+ Simple Past:
> "the total exports value reach 250000 million dollars at 2002"
-> "the total exports value reached 250000 million dollars in 2002"
> "it reach 350000 million dollars at 2003" -> "it reached 350000 million dollars in 2003" (preposition "in")
+ Missing article: "increased with linear rate" -> "increased with a linear rate"
+ "The trend was then continuously rise": you are using 2 verbs in the same sentence.
-> "the trend was then on a continous rise"
+ Strange expression "into a new peak at 2005" -> "peaked at 420000 in 2005"
+ Wrong "in the range below 10000 million dollars"
+ Unnecessary to say "from a value under" -> "from under ... to ..."
+ Wrong "fell into 20000 million dollars"
Example: he fell into a big well in the garden.

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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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We are updating this writing outline. Please come back later!

IELTS Writing Word Count and IELTS Writing Time

IELTS Writing Task 1:
Timing: 20 minutes
Minimum word count: 150

IELTS Writing Task 2:
Timing: 40 minutes
Minimum word count: 250

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 1

There are 2 different formats. One is for the Academic module and the other is for the General module. However, for both modules, you will have to produce a writing of 150 words based on the given information.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - General Module
You are supposed to write a letter.
IELTS Writing Task 1 - Academic Module
You will be given a task based on some pictorial or graphic information. You have to describe the information provided.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 1

IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2

This task is more difficult than IELTS Writing Task 1
You have to write at least 250 words and, as Task 2 is longer than Task 1, you are advised to spend approximately 40 minutes on this task and 20 minutes on the first task.
You are expected to produce a writing on a given topic and to organise your answer correctly, giving some examples to support your ideas.
For More Details: IELTS Writing Task 2

Give your writing a good structure

1) Introduction is a must. You don't believe you could get a good grade without introduction, do you?

2) Body: 3 paragraphs are also necessary. Three is a magical number. It can do wonders to your overall band score.

3) Conclusion. You do not want to infuse your examiner with a feeling of incompleteness.

A Good Outline before you write is essential

What you are going to write in your essay? Write down the key ideas as short as possible.

An outline sample
Introduction - Topic and opinion in short
Paragraph 1 - staff working conditions are important
Paragraph 2 - employers should research and improve the working conditions
Paragraph 3 - concentrating more on their product is bad
Conclusion - Short summary of paragraphs

How will your essay look like?

Is it everything?

No, the structure you have just seen is a structure for an opinion essay.

What does it mean?

It means there are many different types of essays. If you go through our website, you can see that under IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2, there are different categories.
You need to go through each of them and study the structure for the particular writing type.

I do know the structure of an IELTS Writing but why I didn't score high in the exam?

There are many reasons. One of the many reasons is lacking of linking words.
Did you use linking words?
They would make your structure clearer and therefore improve your overal score.

Linking Words or Transitional Words

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This is how your essay is graded

There are 4 components: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Task Response means to what extend your essay covers the topic. For example, if the topic is "The advantages and disadvantages of globalization", you would have to write about both aspects not just only advantages or just only disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion means how well your paragraphs and sentences are connected. If your first paragraph is about advantages of globalisation, you should start your second paragraph with phrases such as "Despite the advantages, there are many disadvantages we should be aware of". Otherwise, your essay is just a list of items which are not related to each other.

Lexical Resource means vocabulary and different types of sentences, simple and complex. You should be able to demonstrate your capability in using English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy means spelling and grammar of sentences. You should be able to spell the words correctly, do not forget articles “a” and “the”, punctuations is also important.

One more important thing to know: the four criteria are equally weighted. It means that if you forgot about “Coherence and Cohesion” in your essay, you will loose 1/4 of your essay points.